Response on CollarMe (Today)
» In Search Of
I’d seen his profile. He seemed like a nice guy who might make a female submissive happy. His profile says straight so an email in my CollarMe inbox was a surprise. He described himself as a bisexual dom and asked me if I’d like to chat.
I sent him an amiable reply saying I was always happy to talk - actually I’d like to meet some Durham, NC BDSM person to do exactly that with - by email or that I have no fears of meeting someone for coffee.
He responded saying he is looking for someone to cuddle and spank. How much do I weigh he asked.
The prospect of going from no acquaintance to cuddling kind of threw me. Perhaps because of the wording. Or it may be that I’ve been hoping to meet a humiliation top. Spanking is not a trigger word for me. My physical masochism is deep. Tell me instead you want to see what sort of pattern the welts will leave on my buttocks.
My profile makes it clear that I’m overweight. I’ve wanted to raise that issue here for some time. But the causes have so much to do with emotional vulnerability that I’ve never been able to summon up the moxie. My profile I hoped made it clear that because of that I’m not seriously looking. It isn’t something I expect anyone to accept.
I sent him a note saying that I thought he sounded like the kind of guy many submissive females would like to meet (true).
Comments
There are plenty of people out there for whom being overweight is not a deal breaker. The overweight men and women at the club I go to seem to have plenty of play partners. As long as you’re upfront about your weight (as it sounds like you are), I wouldn’t worry about it. Trust other people to manage their own preferences.
Posted by: Dev | February 18, 2008 6:24 PM
I know that for some people the match of needs and desires overrides bodily aesthetics. But it does diminish your pool of possibilities.
Mostly I care about the health issues.
Thanks.
Posted by: Richard | February 18, 2008 6:35 PM
At places like collarme it does seem a bit odd to know all sorts of things about what people like to do/have done to them, and little about the person themselves.
collarme does offer the possibility of adding other interests, which I find helpful when people take advantage of it.
I had a casual scene with a fellow at a convention this last weekend. I was looking for someone’s nerve endings to play with; he was looking for someone to play on his. He was a gentleman, and came and sat with me afterwards, but it was clear that casual was all he was looking for.
I was never particularly good at casual. I’d like to know something about the person I’m working on.
Posted by: R | March 10, 2008 12:23 AM