What I Wouldn't Be Looking For
» In Search Of
If I do search for someone to do S&M and / or D/s with I’m not going to worry about:
- Monogamy
- Romance
I could just say that I’m not looking for a monogamous romance. After all if I’m not looking for romance how could monogamy be involved? Partly I’m just officially accepting nonmonogamy.
I’m open to play without emotional entanglement. It seems the wisest plan. Given all sorts of unlikely happenings exclusivity would be fine with me were it a need of the other person.
Romance is a loaded word. And I’m striving to keep my expectations minimal. Friendship would be nice. Affection very much so. Romance is rooted in those but doesn’t have to be mad passion. (As great as that can be.)
But functional BDSM compatibility seems the sane goal. Anything else would be the outcome of time spent together.
I want to keep myself open to any person worth exploring BDSM with detached expectations.
Comments
BDSM with affection is the number one reason I prefer to play with people I have established friendships with.
Posted by: Eileen | September 30, 2007 1:18 AM
Being asocial isn’t without its costs.
Posted by: Richard | September 30, 2007 6:25 AM
This is a matter of wireing. Either you can play without strong affection or you can’t. If you can, and you can, why not? I doubt it will impair your chances of playing with friendship much.
Posted by: Switch (Fetishlore) | September 30, 2007 10:53 PM
What I was trying to say is that I hope to keep my sense of my range of options open.
Posted by: Richard | October 1, 2007 6:52 AM
Don’t tell anyone, or they’ll take away my polyamory card.
But one of my rules, after a particularly difficult breakup (got dumped for another woman right before I left the country for a couple of years), is not to fall in love with anyone other than the husband.
I miss some things this way, I’m sure.
And I can still get hurt like hell.
But I like to think it protects me a little. There is much to be said for great fondness. And for being something to each other when being everything is not an option.
The boy is visiting this weekend.
Posted by: R | October 23, 2007 12:46 AM
Great fondness would be plenty.
Posted by: Richard | October 23, 2007 11:31 AM