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Bondage was one of my desires that Alexandra didn’t connect to at first. Having fantasized of being bound and thinking it the most ordinary of BDSM practices I was startled. But she’s seen how it knocks me into servility, enables me to better handle pain and has come to take a more lively interest.
And I’d like to think that me physically helpless man at her mercy makes an enjoyable sight.
I picked up a few new restraints
My first glimpse of a hog tie long left me wanting to know how feel to be helpless with my arms and legs locked together behind me.
The y-shackle binds wrists or legs to neck or genitals.
The long strap connects to the collar the short ones to wrists and legs leaving you in the most humble of positions.
She did express an interest in rope bondage. It was my turn to hesitate at a routine BDSM. Mostly I feared that rope bondage would be too complicated. And oddly it was the one thing I’d never dreamed of being bound with (my mind was full of chains and straps).
Once she said she found it aesthetically pleasing my hesitation went away. I made a concrete connection with her desires that let me free myself of my small worries.
So I bought some nylon rope as well.
Should make for some interesting evenings.
Naturally I’d enjoy learning of any interesting bondage experiences you’ve had or you’ve merely hoped to one day try.
Comments
I am actually not a big bondage afficionado myself. Watching a man struggle can be amusing. But bondage itself doesn’t really push my buttons.
When I do engage in bondage, it’s an access thing: the vast majority of bondage I’ve done has been a straight spread eagle on a horizontal working surface. And it’s almost always more for the person I’m working on than for me.
About 90% of my experience is with nylon rope. I’m sure working with cuffs/straps/chains would make bondage easier, and thus something I’d engage in more often.
The other 10% involves handcuffs (which I adore but which are impractical for long-term bondage; it’s quite easy for the wrists to get sore) and bondage tape. More on bondage tape in a minute.
While bondage is not a big thing for me (frankly, it’s a hassle), the men I’ve encountered seem to love it. In addition to any zing from the bondage itself, bondage is a kindness to the person on whom one is inflicting suffering; it allows them to relax (or struggle, if they prefer) and enjoy/endure the inevitable. So I’ve made some efforts. Part of my hesitation is certainly due to a lack of “craftiness” on my part. I am truly comfortable working with essentially one knot, and learning/practicing new knots and ties is frustrating/timeconsuming/much less fun than working on perfecting other techniques. I’m sure working with cuffs/straps/chains would greatly reduce the pain-in-the-ass factor. (I am not a lazy top, honest—I would just much rather work on my whip arm than spend time puzzling over topological diagrams and swearing at knots.)
Another option, which I highly recommend, is bondage tape. I was planning on doing some duct tape bondage with my former pet, who met this news with more terror than usual, finally begging me to allow him to buy bondage tape instead. I was, frankly, skeptical. But it’s really great stuff.
It sticks to itself but not to whomever you’re binding; it’s strong; it has some stretch to it; and it’s available in multiple colors. It’s even reusable (but cheap enough that you can just say the heck with it and throw it out). It’s made of some sort of plastic, and it’s incredibly versatile. If you like the look of PVC (I do), it also looks incredibly hot. I bound his arms behind his back with it, and it looked like they were in some sort of sleeve—very nice. And of course on removal it won’t pull out body hair the way duct tape will. Not that I had a problem with that. But he appreciated it. (Did you know that you can pull the chrome off a towel rack with even the ouchless kind of duct tape—usually sold as gaffer’s tape? He didn’t find that thought comforting.)
I know you’re not into mummification, so you might be hesitant about trying this, but please do consider it. Mummification does nothing for me either, but this is great stuff; it’s not the same sort of thing at all. It makes bondage a lot more fun, for me, anyway, which makes me more likely to do it.
Posted by: R | June 19, 2005 1:55 PM
Bondage has been in my fantasies from the earliest days as a boy. The helplessness seems an essential part of the experience. More so since the night I thought for a second I was going to get up and make her stop hitting me. That could do pretty serious harm to our D/s play.
I’ve actually been a little scared of rope. In reading about it I got the impression that - without lots of practice - it is easy to pull a muscle, which would leave me unable to play for weeks. (Just got over a minor muscle problem.) Though I maybe I’m being too nervous.
And the ‘fiddle factor’ of rope has been something I feared she might find exasperating. What you said confirms my impression it can take a long time to master.
If anything I’ve gone overboard buying assorted straps and tethers hoping for the ideal, easy solution.
I bought some painter’s tape because I read that could be removed without pulling hair. But it doesn’t stretch enough. I’ve come close to buying bondage tape a few times and you have me kicking myself for not adding some to my last Stockroom order.
Posted by: Richard | June 20, 2005 7:51 AM
Excellent post, R! Thanks for taking the time to share some of your thoughts. It’s good to know I’m not the only one that isn’t totally attracted to the idea of bondage. I just find all those connectors and fasteners a bit fiddly and the simpler solutions seem much more appealing.
I may get into bondage rope, it’s certainly more aesthetically pleasing to me, but generally my mind is suited more to abstract than practical things.
Posted by: Alexandra | June 20, 2005 1:29 PM