S&M Bores

From The Onion:

“When Jason and Gina first told me about their ‘secret,’ I thought, wow, these people must have one hell of an interesting life,” friend Peter Orwitz said. “I couldn’t have been more wrong. How many times can a person discuss cock leashes?”

Orwitz said the only thing worse than the couple’s lengthy lectures on the positioning benefits of a wall-mounted restraining swing are the long-winded clarifications about the nature of sadomasochism.

“As Jason is constantly pointing out, it’s not S&M that they’re into: It’s BD/SM, which is bondage-domination and sadomasochism,’” Orwitz said. “Apparently, there’s a big difference between S&M and B&D. Just ask them. I dare you.”

The couple’s friends try to avoid topics that might inadvertently lead to discussions of S&M, but the subject always manages to come up.

“It’s amazing what will prompt Jason and Gina to talk about sex,” Pritchard said. “We had a barbecue last weekend, and I said, ‘Pass me the tongs.’ So Jason and Gina exchange a knowing look and, before you know it, we’re off on an hour-long discussion of how you should put your metal sex toys in the freezer for a few hours before using them.”

S&M Couple Won’t Stop Droning On About Their Fetishes