Finding Objects for My Fantasies

During my childhood fetish stereotypes and images weren't nearly as routine a part of American pop culture as they've become. Here and there I'd grab some object or action and add it to the stock imagery of my fantasies.

I remember imagining being bound to a huge neighborhood-dividing (blacks from whites) chain link fence near my house. The earliest image of myself in bondage that I remember.

My momma was a reader of Harold Robbins' potboilers. She had a movie edition. In it there was a photo of chains and a metal head cage. I looked at that photo repeatedly. I'm surprised I don't remember anything from the AIP and Hammer horror movies I grew up watching. Then again something like an iron maiden was beyond even my nuttiest imaginings.

Away from home one of my first jobs was at a bookshop. While most of the stock was mainstream the store was owned by the mafia and it had a small adult section. A photo of a man being whipped in a stock was a revelation. As was a drawing of a guy with a chain leading from neck and testicle collars: clearly an movement would be very uncomfortable.

Thanks to men's magazines cat o nine tails and other formidable whips had been highlights of my fantasy life. In the big city I bought a cheap looking tabloid and read my first dirty story. A young man being whipped with a wet towel began my appreciation of the pervertable. He was also forced to lick urine from the floor, my initial inkling of what I'd learn were called water sports.

Once I started seeing ads from shops like the Pleasure Chest my inventory of tormenting and humiliating devices expanded hugely. To this day I remain someone who can be aroused just by browsing a S&M merchant's website.