Honest Fantasies

It is almost as if my blood had grown cool and as her return nears new warmth spreads through me.

As many entries have testified I’ve felt a delight that is something of a conflict. During her absence a very pure, wholly giving desire to just kneel and adore often overcomes me.

Even outside of D/s that purity is something I want when I love someone. And within D/s yielding to the magnetic pull of the wish to worship is sheer bliss.

But I know that deep in my heart I’m also a creature of many fetishes. I want things. And my beloved enjoys bringing them to life with me. Many of them evoke that beautiful humility.

Abed last night I saw myself - huge surprise - licking her boots again. This time I was bound by the posture bar/collar. Exactly how she might manage to have her boots positioned that high wasn’t clear. But such is the way of fantasies.

Feeling both the need to humbly please and the truth of my myriad hungers makes me happy. Because I know this is my most honest state.

And honest is really even better than obedience.