Insecurity
» My Inner Life
Insecurity is one of the most annoying of emotions: it can strip you of choices if only in leaving you unable to choose.
Lately I’ve been wondering how much my normal sense of inner security is a lie. If hidden fears haven’t cunningly concealed themselves from my awareness. After call what leaves you feeling less secure than insecurity itself?
Happily anxieties can also vanish.
When I was a little boy some flying thing stung me: one of my earliest memories. Even as an adult I’ve fled at the sight of any tiny creature that might hurt me.
This afternoon I was trimming my rose garden and the butterfly bush. Bees and butterflies were gathering nectar at my side. I didn’t run away.
It wasn’t bravery. My indifference to the bees registered only after the fact. After decades mysteriously my fear simply died.
The mind is a funny thing.
(Note for perverts: a quick check reveals no femdom stories of women subjecting men to bee stings.)
Comments
I’m pretty sure May has either a story or a photo somewhere in his femdom collection that involves bees. I suppose you could ask him if you’re actually interested.
If you need anything, send up a flag.
Posted by: Eileen | September 13, 2007 2:16 PM
Bees are a bit beyond me. Though one day I’ll have to learn what strange things May has accumulated.
I do wish I could remember the right keywords for an entry of mine involving three tiny insects and a jar as a novel form of cbt.
Thanks. The blog gives me a chance to vent and exorcise. But it is always nice to know folks care.
Posted by: Richard | September 13, 2007 2:36 PM
I do actually have a few (like, maybe 5 or 6) femdom cartoons involving bees. When I saw them, I picked them up because of their unusualness though they are quite a bit more common these days, especially in “3D Art” porn circles. I have no idea why.
Posted by: maymay | September 13, 2007 2:39 PM
Are you saying you feel more insecure or less insecure honey?
Posted by: Alexandra | September 13, 2007 4:04 PM
Neither. Rather that our insecurities may change but that is mostly outside of our control.
Posted by: Richard | September 13, 2007 4:28 PM