Possible Origin of My Slave Needs
» My Inner Life
This was going to be part of a larger entry. My self-interpretations I don’t project on to others. Or claim that I’m sure they are correct. Just given in good faith. I’m harking back to when we were talking on the telephone before we met in ‘meat space.’
As I considered the part of me that wanted myself stripped away until simply being allowed to bow before her would be enough I felt that I discovered where the need originated, at least in me.
I think I want to go back to a primal maternal moment. That may sound perverse or even perverted. My mother was never demanding, much less cruel. As the infant is held by the warm giantess there’s no sense of surrender. The child has no ego. Nothing much more than a sense of needs and satisfactions.
In my case my suspicion that in losing myself in her I’m reliving that happy, infantile trust.
The masochism? That comes from a later part of my life.
Comments
I don’t know where my desire to be sexually submissive to women comes from. As far as I can remember, I’ve always had a lust for the leather boots, spiked heels, and shapely legs that women possess. The idea of being under the control and power of a strong woman is incredibly arousing. I guess I grew up with strong women around me all my life, family included. Every once in a while I deviate and take control, but that isn’t really me. I enjoy being under her foot. Waiting for the stinging rush of the crack of a whip. Figuring out and utlimately serving the desires of the one who I care for. I like your site. The artwork is facinating. There is a level of empathy. Nice to know there are other who share these thoughts. Take care.
Posted by: malamut | June 7, 2005 9:51 PM
I’m glad you see empathy. Thanks for the kind words.
Posted by: Richard | June 8, 2005 7:20 AM