Report from the Silly Slave Mind

» My Inner Life

The increasing sense of submissiveness I’ve alluded to kicked in a couple of months ago. When conditions became right for Alexandra to return soon they became overwhelming.

At times it seems almost bizarre.

Anyone who has visited here for a few weeks won’t be surprised that my mind most often turns to licking or kissing her boots.

Last night I was wondering how soon after her return I could make some overt gesture of surrender. My imagination seemed to force me to think of just rubbing my cheek against her calf. It felt as if I shouldn’t let myself visualize what I want the most because it seemed selfish. Pretty silly since if she’s feeling even the slightest dominance she’s not going to object me going to below her ankles.

When I’m feeling submissive and want to let her know without asking for anything I rest my head on her just below her shoulders. Right now picturing that and her giving my head a pat or scratching my scalp like she does during pet play seems as thrilling as my crazy old fantasies ever did.

I really like these sensations. The only ‘bad’ part is that surely I won’t be able to live up to being so unselfish.

But I’ll try and she’ll understand when I can’t.

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My boy licks my hands sometimes, usually with his eyes closed. This isn’t the eager sort of frenzied licking he sometimes uses on my feet or my shoes, but something a little calmer. I like to think it centers him.

He kind of disappears when I pet him, closing his eyes and leaning in to my hand.

I find this charming and will sometimes pet him while talking with friends as he sits on the floor.

I owe you a thank you, actually. While I have always thought boots looked wonderful (too much Catwoman as a girl?) I had not really considered boot or foot worship as possible activities of interest until I started reading your journal.

I find myself considering some other activities I did not consider of possible interest as the boy yearns after them.

Interesting how one partner’s desires can bleed into the other partner.

Let’s not talk about bleeding or we might get my plaything excited :) j/k

R, please let us know how you get on in the topsy turvy upside-down world of foot worship :)

Richard, you know I have my head in my music now and for good reason, but it’s very nice to be able to read these things and chat with you later to keep you close.

Sadly you can’t get so close as to be under but you can’t have everything all of the time.

Hi Richard, it would seem that we have a common love, wish and need to show our submission to our Dommes through boot worship.. i look forward to reading more. slave


Kissing Alexandra’s hands, licking her fingers wasn’t something I ever fantasized. But when I’m acting as her pet it seemed necessary and natural. And being petted is bliss.

It still sometimes surprises me how these gestures of adoration fulfill me so deeply.

The way each side of the power exchange can stimulate new desires in the other is unanticipated but wonderful part of D/s in real life instead of fantasies.

Saw your post on Christine & David’s mailing list, hope there are some good answers.

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