To Heck With Cybersex
» My Inner Life
My main reason for missing Alexandra has nothing really to do with BDSM: I miss her because I’m in love with her.
Not that I won’t miss our play.
You may be thinking, “Fair enough you can’t whip yourself or put yourself (safely) in bondage but you can always do cyber D/s with her.”
Nope.
Put a gun to my head; I wouldn’t be able to cyber to save my life.
Some people are great at cybersex. I have a friend who fills out his extensive fleshly sex life with webcam affairs with other guys around the world.
I was never much of a flirt. When I was young my idea of flirting was to give a pretty boy a brief look signaling desire. Everything else was up to him.
Years ago I often had multiple chat rooms and instant messengers loaded looking for a date or mate. I brushed aside any attempts to have chat sex. Alexandra aside I’ve never been much for online chatting, greatly preferring email. But most people are more comfortable with “How r u?” than writing a short note. (Most people can’t compose sentences.)
When I was online using a D/s handle and profile the submissive guys were mostly OK. But the - ahem - “Masters” often wanted to role-play from the first word. (I did chat with women; they never played games.) Anybody who addressed me, a perfect stranger, as boy or slave got one chance to quit playacting or I blocked him.
I did try it once with a Dutch guy. I obeyed his orders to take off my shoes and kneel before my PC. That bored me so I quit.
I don’t like abstractions. I accept them as a necessary evil.
Even if I can’t see your eyes or hear your voice I need enough of your words before I can really begin to have a feel for the particularities of you as an individual. Just calling yourself Candy Tangerine Boy or Mistress Hellbent isn’t enough.
Sure, I know Alexandra exceedingly well. And she had good map of my mind.
Let us say that I’ve never had a knack for acting. Nothing you can attach to a computer would replace the expression on her face or presence of her boots.
Call me uncreative but I’m no good at pretence. Even for fun.
Sure it might be fun if she gave me an order. But not much without her here to see me obey.
So I’ll return to my masturbatory theater. I’ve already played a surprising number of mental movies to myself in the 48.5 hours since we said goodbye.
You, on the other hand must have a good time spending your evenings in wild BDSM cybersex.
No?
Comments
I too just don’t get into Cybersex, reading a story maybe… but I like to get to know someone chat for a while… perhaps meet and then actually play in person. There is so much that is a part of the real experience which I crave that can’t be brought through chat alone.
Posted by: Miss Silver | September 1, 2005 1:38 PM
Just wanted to say thanks for sending me to collarme.com, I joined and browsed a bit. Nice to see a thriving community.
I hear ya about cyber, as you know—not my thing either. Though I do love IM for conversation, because I hate the phone for some reason.
Posted by: Her | September 1, 2005 5:42 PM
I’ve done cybersex; it was with someone I knew, however.
It was mostly talking, though occasionally I’d “pull him under.”
A typed “whimper” is not in the same league as the real thing.
But a photograph of someone doing as I’ve told them to can be a very nice thing indeed.
And walking someone through touching themselves when it hasn’t been allowed for some time can be somewhat stimulating. If difficult to do as one hand is needed to type.
I have not engaged in cybersex with anyone I don’t know. It’s been offered; I’m just not that interested unless I know the person.
I have reams of logs. I will read them someday when distance has drawn a more solid veil over the proceedings.
Posted by: R | September 1, 2005 8:59 PM
R,
The quality of experience you had with yor pet was one of the things that prompted me to write the entry. I envy that.
Posted by: Richard | September 2, 2005 4:17 AM
I have to admit, my first D/s enjoyment was cyber-domination and I seemed to get into it quite a bit. I think mostly I was glad to have a safe way to explore my dominant side without the risks implicit in meeting others in a new arena.
But acting out some cyber-scene just wouldn’t seem right to me after having a physical relationship.
Perhaps when I’ve had a shower and shined myself up I can just toy with you by giving you ‘interesting’ webcam angles? ;)
Posted by: Alexandra | September 3, 2005 6:38 AM
With the two of us a simple shoe show can be a deeply erotic experience. And all I have to do is watch.
Love you.
Posted by: Richard | September 3, 2005 7:33 AM