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An Evening of S&M

When I awoke from a nap yesterday my sadomasochism was fully alive again. It was if the needs were tugging at me from an almost cellular level.

Hours later we dug through the boxes of toys to remember what we have. Then we started to play.

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I melted with happiness when she put my collar on - it had been too long. Instantly I was back in the slave state.

But my mind resurfaced shortly. It can be wonderful for both of us when I’m just her putty pet. But we were both long out of practice and we felt it best to keep the scene light and informal.

When she bound me and put me over the couch my masochism felt dampened leaving me worried: could I handle pain?

Yes. The pain-pleasure connecting was still there. Alexandra worked on my buttocks with various quirts and floggers. For once I was able to offer her coherent feedback about each toy. The purple leather flogger from Adam and Gillian’s was a revelation. The sting varied amazingly depending on the force of her blow.

After about forty minutes I had to let her know the pain was becoming more than I could cope with for much longer. Left me a little disappointed in myself. Wanting to be a super-masochist I guess and take whatever she may dish out.

Naturally - being me - I had to analyze that.

Most of the blows seemed to fall on the same areas - upper buttocks - and naturally they became very sore. Toward the end each stroke burnt more fiercely than normal.

Several things might have enabled me to cope more ably with the pain:

Had she said she was going to beat me repeatedly in same spots until I reached my limit. Whether it would be a challenge to my masochism or make me want badly to absorb as much as possible to please her I can’t say.

If she’d seemed wrathful that might have either upped or diminished my capacity. Not sure.

This was not really an evening of D/s. If I’d been lost in the slave trance I could’ve probably taken more. Pity getting and staying there can be so tough sometimes. Gives me a bit of stage fright.

If she’d been working the masochist’s erogenous zone - lower buttocks to upper thighs - I might have become a pure pain slut.

Not long after she released me, both of us exhausted, we went to bed.

I feel almost guilty about writing so clinically of what was a happy time. That is just how my brain works some mornings.


Your comments touch a nerve! As much as I need to be tied and immobilised before punishment is administered, the fear of whether I can take the pain continually runs through my mind.

I find the immobilisation very exciting, but perhaps too simply, because I know I have committed to receiving the pain from the various floggers and canes that I know will be used on me.

It bothers me that having submitted - being tied - my main thoughts are with my masochistic desires and not in serving my Mistress. I just want to be beaten to the point that I want it to stop and then taken further - as my Mistress is so skilled in doing.

I identify with your comments about blows falling in the same area and subconsciously will each blow to fall in a different area - it doesn’t work!

As you comment - it’s tough - but so satisfying. When it’s over and those soft hands caress my sore flesh and Mistress pays me compliments about how she enjoyed seeing me suffer for her, I can in some degree feel like I submitted to her - but the reality is that I wanted it for myself.

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