Long before I encountered the acronym cbt I'd fantasized about having my genitals and nipples tightly leashed to something while being whipped: the involuntary movement of my body would cause me to yank on the leash.
Being kicked in the groin was a common enough image for me to have imagined a knee or shoe slamming into me there.
Really I never thought much about my genitals in my youthful BDSM fantasies. It was almost as if they weren't there. (What that implies about myself I shan't speculate.)
Together with my notes on feminization and orgasm denial this entry is an attempt to capture some of my feelings about the things that seem somewhat singularly focused on in female domination. As always I'm typing for my amusement and possibly yours: no expertise is claimed.
Genitorture is common in BDSM regardless of sexual orientation or gender role.
Myself I just flinched when I read about weight after weight being added to a man's scrotal sac. It wasn't anything I could imagine wanting to endure. Some of it was terrifying. I remember one in which a man had his penis destroyed with a blowtorch.
Time passes and while in a bad relationship my S&M fantasies increase and deepen. Wearying myself of all my favorite scenarios, even being whipped with myriad devices in every possible position I finally come to cbt fantasies.
Partly they were sparked by a of series photos I saw of a cute redheaded Domme in a nurse's outfit performing genitorture. I don't have nurse fantasies (and often wonder what those wicked women in the Rubex drawings are about to do to those poor bound men). But I do have a thing for redheads. That she was short and cute added potency to the idea of her being cruel.
Japanese 'Femdom' art is so cute.
Japanese 'Femdom' art is so cute.
There's a series of photos from either the late 70s or early 80s of women twisting and pulling on men's penises. The penis is a pretty sturdy organ, I doubt it really hurt that much. For me the arousal was in the idea of having my cock roughly handled.
After making chili once I inadvertently touched my cock. There was a residue of a habaneros pepper on my fingers. A fairly intense ten or so minutes followed. (When I was eighteen I put some wintergreen oil on my penis thinking it might make things livelier. It did but not in the way I hoped.)
Later I discovered capsaicin ointment as help for joint pain. Capsaicin is the very essence of hot red peppers and has quite a bite. In my first genitorture fantasy capsaicin was smeared on my genitals. And I was brutally whipped to take my mind of my genital pain. (Ah, the masochistic mind!)
Anyway as I said a truly screwed up relationship left me depressed, taking my fantasies to an ever more violent level. Eventually I had to fantasize about something like cbt to achieve orgasm.
Naturally clothespins came to mind. (From my experiences with Alexandra the clothespins sold by Dollar General are weak: good or bad depending on your goals.) Especially having the clothespins slapped and yanked.
Testicle torture had been something I couldn't dream of. Odd given the extravagance of many of my fantasies. But if you have testicles you know the agony of accidentally having them bump into something.
Finally my mind turned to images of my balls being repeatedly kicked. Or being painfully massaged by a boot.
And at last a testicle press: slowly tightened increment by increment squeezing out every last bit of soul blasting pain. (NB: actually the press can be tightened, then loosed and tightened again. No real need to go as far as possible.)
Electrotorture excites me to no end. Not that I've ever experienced it. But I added the idea of steadily increased voltage being applied to my penis to my inventory of cbt fantasies.
Like most frustrated masochists I took my imagined genitorture to the nuttiest extreme. Clothespins, capsaicin, tens unit, testicle squeezing and slapping all applied at once.
So for sure this masochist had discovered the at least imaginary joys of cock and ball torture.
Alexandra and I have played with genitorture only lightly. Having my penis gently caned or touched by a boot always brings a strong erection.
How far we may go only time will tell. Genital leashing always takes me deep into the slave space. While I'll confess to fear about cbt I know it will reduce me to nothing more than her helpless plaything. I did make a board with a hole just big enough for my penis to fit through for her. Isolated she can kick and crush it as she pleases.
My intent when I started typing this was to talk some about how Femdom often seems to focus on the abuse of male genitals. Orgasm denial, sissyfication, and cbt seem to be among the most consistent images I've run across. But as I think of it cbt is at least as popular among gay men who practice S&M.
Really it would probably be odd if D/s did not focus on a male's most vulnerable and sensitive body part.
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