Masochism: An Oxymoric Experience

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I have no idea how rare masochism is but there are enough of us out there.

Masochism and love

Has anyone ever been able to sum up the binary of wanting and hating pain?

Alexandra has told me that sometimes I just absorb the pain. Sadly when I’m that far gone I retain only the dimmest memories.

Slave being whipped

Really my response to pain is variable. The times when I wished it would stop are clearly etched in my mind.

Many people seem to misunderstand masochism. I need the agony and misery. But that doesn’t mean that I enjoy it in the same way I enjoy good music, prose or a fine meal.

It is the ultimate oxymoronic experience: wanting it, hating it - at the same time.


One of my favorite S&M illustrations. This Eneg (Gene Bilbrew) image I return to repeatedly (as I do one other picture). The beaten man looks as if he gone far into some emotional abyss. I hope to follow him one day, Alexandra willing.

I know the erotic need for a sadist to use me reaches back to my childhood. My young mind saw power relationships in his family and helplessly eroticized the roles. Clearly that is also the root of my need to submit.

Giving your body to someone with a whip or cane is certainly submission. But for the masochist there’s a distinctive ecstasy. It may occur during the session or only in recollection.

I suspect I’ve only begun to tap into my masochism. I’m just at the surface. Luckily I’m with someone who will enjoy taking me more deeply into it.

Masochist being paddled

Whizzer Black’s cartoons have a charming, sometimes innocent, however relentless the women, take on female dominance.

I wish I could sum up the mix of euphoria and fear, need and dismay, hunger and anguish.

Perhaps you, stranger or friend can share with me should you also have the need for S&M in your life whichever side of the equation you are on.

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Speaking of sadism/masochism - yesterday RUSH LIMBAUGH was talking about the benefits of spanking. Then he had a conversation with a Dominatrix from St. Louis about how she got into it, what she wore, and then she corrected him about it not being sexual. The whole conversation had me laughing so hard.

I started picturing Rush in a session with a Dominatrix…

I read a transcript of that about an hour ago.

There probably isn’t a Domme who’d treat Limbaugh the way I’d like to see him get it.

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