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I started to write than punishment has a peculiar duality for me. Really my feelings about being punished are so contradictory it seems to spiral out across at least five dimensions.

Punishment whipping

Book cover by Sardax.

Punishment, like many words, can mean more than one thing. And the specific meaning is often unclear. For many punishment is probably just a synonym for pain. For others it means the administration of pain to correct a slave, to modify his behavior.

I'm a masochist. Pain can feel very good to me. She's complained that I seek to soak up pain like a sponge. How, she has wondered, can she punish me?

Unpunishing punishment

Partly true, partly not. When I do sink deeply into my masochism my consciousness all but departs from my brain. So there's lots that has happened that I don't remember. But I do remember the times when the pain has hurt so much that all I wanted was for it to cease.

When I'm Alexandra's slave I want to be pleasing and obedient. When I'm punished for being too slow or failing to do exactly what she demanded I really do feel repentant. I want the pain to end.

Punishment in bondage

Whoever he was he did wonderful drawings of men being whipped in the least comfortable postures.

Oddly when she's punished me my masochist's superpower of processing pain as pleasure either diminished or vanished. But I'm a stoic masochist so this must not show through.

Partly I think it was her anger and harsh words. They have enormous power over me.

Eric Stanton punishment

Eric Stanton's women could be quite ruthless.

In an earlier note I wondered How Do You Punish a Masochist? and made a few suggestions.

In reading today I ran across what sounds like a surefire technique. Milk the slave before punishing him. The post-orgasm state will certainly leave him more vulnerable. Also I'm sure making the bondage so uncomfortable that body parts will be yanked as they responds to the blows. Or being made an anonymous 'thing.'

Punishment while wearing a <a href=hood" src="http://www.downonmyknees.com/punishment/punishment-wearing-a-hood.jpg" height="252" title="hooded male slave" width="200" />

Robert Bishop captures many of my fantasies perfectly.

I do also crave punishment: being chastened and disciplined by pain. Not that I'd ever intentionally fail or offend hoping to be punished.

Why? There are lots of childhood perceptions of relationships and roles. The youthful erotic intensity is something I guess I want to recapture.

Harsh whipping

You can count on Bill Ward for the extremes.

So I'd never knowingly do anything that merits punishment. I do not want to be punished. But it may also be something that I need. I can't find the words to separate the various strands of this part of my inner life.

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I left a comment on your other post you refer to also.

I love SM and of course I have fantasies about “getting in trouble” and having to do all these humiliating things - it turns me on but in reality when I have displeased my Owner it is never a turn on. It never makes me want to have an orgasm. It is a nice fantasy but it is not reality to me get in trouble and then get turned on. Those things make it about my pleasure - and in reality my job/duty as a slave is to please my Owner. So, doing those things to “get in trouble” and get turned on would be making it about my pleasure and like I said in the reality of it I am sure it would not be pleasurable for me disappointing my Owner.

Again in reality, I can’t ever imagine my Master giving me an orgasm before punishing me. But we don’t really do punishment we do discipline. And that is swift action that happens right in the moment. Such as slap or lecture or some type of action to remind me of my place right when it happens.

To date the most visibly effective method of punishment I used on richard was not letting him lick my shoes/boots. They were a pair he really liked, too. He looked baffled and spooked, so much so that I decided to keep it up all night. He looked like the child who has been refused the lollipop and it was amusing to be able to tease him just by clicking around him in the shoes he mustn’t touch.

The downside of course is that I love to feel a wet tongue on my foot pressing through leather so this is not something I could make a habit of :) I do feel that in this one case it was worth it though.


Alexandra and I both take strong pleasure in S/M. While I don’t think I’d ever intentionally “get in trouble” as I said in my other reply the experience recollected later does give me satisfaction of a strange sort.

But really I prefer pain when she inflicts it for her own pleasure. I guess ruthlessness is something I need in my Domme. I’m very lucky that she has a real capacity for that.


You, of course, know that my nights are filled with images of your boots and shoes while you are far away. Sigh.

I need some advice. I am the Master of my wonderful slave, but we are physically apart. My slave does not misbehave on purpose to be punished/disciplined, but there are times when she needs to be disciplined. When its a grave infraction, my punishments are mental in nature all geared to her learning a lesson and how best to please me. For lesser infractions - such as not going to bed on time - I would spank her if we were in the same space. Any suggestions how to handle those types of punishments when we are apart?


You can always order her to punish herself on a webcam while you watch.

I usually do not punish my boyfriend/slave with physical pain. (I did have him give himself strokes with a cane on his palm one time.) It’s not that he’s such a masochist that he couldn’t not enjoy it, but rather that I’m such a sadist that I don’t completely trust myself to carry it out.

Also, when he fails to do something, it is usually because it was time-consuming, and I don’t want to condense it to the short time period of a beating as punishment. (Hot, though. So very, very hot.)

I usually punish him either by making him maintain a stressful or restrictive position for a while (e.g., on all fours with his tongue on the underside of an upturned bowl, or standing in a doorframe with his hands behind him and nose on the wood), or I punish him thematically. (I have washed his mouth out for cursing when instructed not to, for instance, and this week he is required to prepare some vegetable recipes as a consequence of forgetting to eat fruits & vegetables one day last week.)

One time I had him write lines, which was surprisingly enjoyable for me (though also a bit boring to sit through).

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