What is Pain Like for the Masochist?

» Pain

  1. It just plain hurts. Battered nerve endings waiting for cessation.
  2. Delicious: imagine your lover’s fingernails moving across your back, finding an ambiguous borderland where gentlest agony mixes with erotic delight.
  3. Sometimes my mind has departed for parts unknown I think. Sadly I depend on Alexandra’s memory not my own.
  4. You fill in the blank …

What inflicting pain is to the sadist I can only wonder.

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At least when I am inflicting it, much of my concentration tends to be on technique. There is a good deal of responsibility involved; there is a human being on the receiving end of the implement being used, and I tend to be very analytical. Naturally, I don’t want to be sloppy; there is pride in doing something well.

The reactions of the person I’m inflicting it on are part of the payback, and of course, paying attention to this to gauge the effects of what I’m doing is important too.

There is also a certain amount of satisfaction in a well-landed blow, or a well-executed cut. Aesthetics? Or just one of the reasons I do this in the first place.

I do enjoy what I do, although concentrating on the deliciousness of it is often deferred until I’m finished, particularly if I am asking him to take something difficult. My function, as I see it, is to ease him through this, and to comfort him when I am done. I feel a certain amount of pride/gratefulness at what he takes for me.

A letter prefect description of what the sane masochist needs in a sadist.

I know this is an old discussion, but I would like to add an opinion: For me, it’s never been that “serious”, me and my boyfriend do various stuff together, but my fantasies are “worse”. I’ve never had the need of “comfort and support” during painful things. I think it clashes with feelings of punishment for me being naughty.. i don’t need comfort for being naughty? and the pain in it self has always been a turn on for me.. i don’t know why really…

You have a good relationship and plenty of self-respect, self-esteem so you aren’t emotionally overwhelmed by the intensity of your S&M play. I tended to need quiet time after really strong experiences to transition back to normal emotional space. But not blankets, candy or reassurance.

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