On Not Chatting
» Polyamory Considered
Alexandra and I aren’t chatting. You might think we’d be at it feverishly. (She’s invited; I’ve demurred.)
Let me use Alexandra’s latest post about seeing other people as an explanation:
Ideally I was hoping he would like the submissive aspect of having a domme who does what she wants selfishly.
On reading that my gut reaction can reasonably be summed up as “!!!!!!!!!”
After a pause it hit me that this was a wish, fantasy - something like that - not a reflection of her perception of me.
I dropped her an email and my second thought was quickly confirmed.
Even face to face it is all to easy to word something carelessly or let a spontaneous response pop out and upset the other person. Over a distance, in chat, a misstatement or misunderstanding may cause a crisis. Short-lived to be sure: but draining and grueling to clarify.
Emails and blog entries leave space for reflection and nuance.
Given my current volatile state these are the best ways for us to talk.
