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Lessons of Three Years

A simple summary of the erotic education afforded by a romance that included BDSM and fetishes.

Virtual Beer and Tea

My thanks for kind words.


Looking for insight into my emotional state from my sexual fantasies.

The End

A loving, long distance romance that included BDSM is no more.

Edifying Wanking

What my current mastubatory practices and fantasies tell me about my current emotional state.

On Seeing Other People

As a monogamous man I have to accept that the polyamorous desires of my lover may spell the end of our BDSM romance.

My Monogamy : Afterword

What should a monogamous man do if he discovers the woman he loves is interested in exploring polyamory?

Time Without Alexandra

I've learned to cope with being in a sometimes long distance romance.

An Agreement

BDSM contract, plan, map, means for using structure as a way to enhance the D/s and sadomasochistic part of our romance.

Structure, Plan, Map

Adding semi-contractual agreements to a loving BDSM relationship.

Profiting From the Loss of Libido

BDSM love affairs: Even with diminished sex drive struggling to please her was surprisingly satisfying.

Loss of Masochism and Libido

Coping with the loss of sexual desire - possibly due to hypothyroidism - in a loving BDSM relationship.

Loss and Separation

When your dominant / top is your lover being apart is terribly painful.

Recovery, Slow Progress

Restoring the BDSM parts of a romantic relationship after a period of illness.

Kisses in the Garden

Offering her a brief moment of adoration.


Still too weak for BDSM play but happily cared for by Alexandra.


Hard to indulge in BDSM play when you aren't feeling well.


Nuance, variety and the whole emotional and aesthetic range possible within a relationship that includes BDSM.

Waiting for 3/19

Waiting for the one that I love and adore to return to my life.

A Valentine for My Beloved

Both within BDSM and as a loving romantic guy it was a wonderful day when my beloved came into my life.

Alpha Domme

Female sadist expresses desire to push the edge into darker and more kinky play with her loving male bottom.


When psychological reinforcement proves a bad idea in a relationship that partly involves BDSM.


Discovering a new and special emotional space in my loving female dominant relationship.

The Fantasies : The End

Focusing on the real lover, girlfriend, dominant and stopping masturbating about impossible BDSM dreams.

Paradox of Obedience

Establishing a loving dominant, submissive relationship without formal rules, rituals or protocols.

Chatting With My Beloved

How instant messaging using Google Talk keeps both the D/s and purely romantic parts of the love that Alexandra and I share alive, evolving and refreshed.


Escaping BDSM generic terms and stereotypes for orientation, identity like submissive, slave, masochist and redefining my my role in my loving relationship that includes sadomasochism and D/s.

Play? Recreation? Lifestyle? TPE? 24/7? BDSM

Is female domination or D/s in general better for being lifestyle or 24/7 instead of play or just part of a more complicated relationship or marriage?

Motivating Things

Behavioral change including D/s rituals, spoken affirmations.

Rituals, Affirmations & Protocols to Come ...

Loving female domination can include gentle behavior modification and strict behavioral control.

A Masochist's Lamentations

Long Distance Relationships can cause some pretty dark frustration in a BDSM relationship.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fuzzy

Female domination - D/s in general really - when the submissive partner misses his lover and dominant when the latter is far away.

A Fine Romance

Caveat: pure romantic mush advisory in effect.


I do love my beloved Goddess, girlfriend and lover.

Sweet, Soft Surrender

A male masochist's romantic longing to worship his dominant, to crawl behind while lead on a lesh like a pet.

Licking Her Boots

Wanting to humble myself before the woman that I worship as my Goddess.

Tenderness and Pain

A male masochist learns about a dominant woman's ability to mix both romantic sweetness and sadism in an evening's passion or play.

Keeping My Nose to the Grindstone

Oh, how I adore my beloved Goddess! Taking care of quotidian things like money enable as relation ship that involves female/woman/girl worship by the male.

My Failures ... Ah ... How Sad ... How Wasteful ...

Money worries, issues of simple survival, daily life killed my submissive side and I didn't fulfill my needs or hers.

Taking a Walk on the Mild Side

We aren't doing any BDSM right now but I'm happy and in love with her.

My BDSM Card Set

Suites of cards suggesting possible D/s and S&M forms of play for sessions and scenes.

Her Footstool

Happily kneeling and being her human foot rest.


As happy to be her vanilla lover as her slave.

I Miss My Collar

I'm happy to be her slave, to just offer myself, not even demanding that she dominate me.

The Joy of Her Boots

Pleasure of retifism: happily worshipping her boots late one night.

Still Kinkless

Overcoming inhibitions, mental blocks preventing us from resuming D/s and S&M play in our relationship.

Kissing Her Shoes

Loving, romantic retifism as my lips and tongue caress a lovely pair of schoolgirl shoes designed for young girls


We haven't engaged in F/m BDSM play since my lover has returned home.

Alexandra is Back

My lover has returned and after getting in practice the BDSM and fetish part of our loving relationship can resume.

On Loving a Transsexual Woman

My lover is a transgendered Domme: many men don't understand that I don't make a fetish of her transsexuality, that I just plain love her.

Contractual Obligations

Is it time to add a formal contract to my D/s relationship with my dominant?

A Dozen Roses

On the joy of a romantic F/m BDSM love affair.

On My Fragility

The best D/s relationships involve deep empathy, understanding and love.

The Pleasure of Pleasing

A human pet's delight that an unasked for act of submission makes his Goddess happy.

Five Long Months

The emotional stresses and strains of a long distance BDSM relationship.

A Few Special Evenings

Intense D/s and S&M sessions with the woman that I love and worship.

Pleasing Myself II

My basic need to submit to her leaves me unable to focus on my deepest fetishes.

Abusive Domme?

Some D/s, S&M relationships can be abusive. My BDSM relationship is not.

Her Bored Slave

Coping with, trying to prevent boredom during certain acts in my F/m relationship.

Pleasing Us

Learning to enjoy submission outside of explicit BDSM play scenes with my girlfriend and Goddess.

Pleasing Myself

One slave's, masochist's wishlist of what he'd love for his Domme to do to him.

Pleasing Her : Trample

I was a bit scared of, worried by her interest in trampling fetish.

Pleasing Her : Object Crushing

I love my beloved Goddess but am unable to enjoy watching her stomp on things.

Pleasing Her

Improving my D/s romance by learning how to live my dominant's fantasies, kinks and fetishes.

But Honestly ...

Fears of wanting more domination and punishment than my beloved partner wishes to inflict on me.

Her Christmas Present

I bought my Goddess a pair of bright shiny silver boots.

Trying to Get Rid of an Unwanted Guest

I licked my Domme's boots one night hoping to drive away my unwanted ex-lover.

Living for Moments of Submission

Defining my masculine surrender to a female dominant.

Missing My Beloved

Romantic longing and hunger for surrender while the transgendered goddess I love and worship is away.

BDSM & Stress

D/s relationships may falter, temporarily fail when one or both partners experience frustration.

On Missing Her

My beloved Domme is away, I'm so lonely without her.

BDSM Desires : Keeping in Phase with Your Partner

Will my sadomasochistic desires take over and keep me from enjoying any other kind of sexual relationship?

F/m Movies

Femdom films can't take the place of the woman I worship in my real life.

Love & Adoration

Romantic love blends with a D/s desire to worship.

My Transgendered Domina

I'm in a F/m relationship with a transsexual. Would it differ if she were a genetic female: not really.

Still Not Asking . . . !

D/s weakness in a slave: not feeling confident enough to ask or beg to serve.

My Goddess is Gone

The woman who owns me is away. What is an erotically hungry male slave to do?

A Spoken Collar

Verbal BDSM clues that my desire to be submissive is welcome.

On Uncontrolled Desire

F/m relationships: when he needs more D/s play than she.

Pansexual + Transsexual

I'm a pansexual guy in a F/m love affair with a transgendered person.

Protocol : The First Time

I had to use a safeword when the scene got risky.

Alexandra as Lady Discipline

A photographs of my transgendered 'Femdom' Goddess.

Funk Is Not Funky

Mixing romantic love and BDSM isn't always easy: takes lots of patience and effort.

Her Rules

My Goddess establishes protocols for me to follow when I wear her collar.

The Fault of Being Inarticulate

My failure to express my own needs and desires in the BDSM part of our relationship.

Expanding the envelope . . . ?

Exploring unconditional surrender and maybe 24/7 female domination.

Can't get no . . .

Bad luck and mishaps continue to stall our D/s play.

The Bad Dream

Did my nightmare express dissatisfaction or fears about our D/s relationship?


Mixing romance and D/s in an evening requires attentiveness.

Practice makes better?

We need to explore more informal whipping and bondage sessions.

BDSM Glitches

Real life complications block my ability play the slave and process pain.

Shoes and whiskbrooms

Licking her boots and being stroked with a whiskbroom.

D/s without D/s or . . . ?

An evening of loving boot worship without power exchange?

The Day of Her Return

My lover comes home today.

The Gap

She has an object crushing fetish, I don't but wish I did so I could please her.

Playful But Dominant

The sweet, loving side of F/m D/s.

S&M vs. or plus D/s . . . ?

What do I need most as a slave: pain or submission?

Some of Her Footwear

I have a boot, shoe worship paraphilia: retifism. And she has lots of boots and shoes.

She's Coming Back!

The woman I love and worship returns.

D/s as Chivalry

Details about our relationship. Maybe F/m BDSM is a mutated form of chivalry.

Responses to art

My Domina's own responses have changed my own feelings about various F/m illustrations.

My Domina

Images that capture the various nuances of the woman that I worship as my Goddess.

A Night Under Her Mattress

She wants to sleep atop me while I spend a night bound under the mattress of our bed.

Confinement: Cages & Boxes

That my Goddess would enjoy putting me in a cage or locking me in a box only makes me feel humble and grateful.

Strike, Dear Mistress, and Cure His Heart

Male masochist craves pain so harsh that he begs her to stop beating him.

The Beauty of Shoe Worship

I went into a fugue or trance thinking about her shoes.

Submission as a Gift?

Submission and dominance: are they gifts to be given, or innate qualities to be shared?


When is punishment erotic pleasure, when does it change behavior and do masochists need it?

Rituals to enrich our relationship

Would kissing her feet and kneeling before her add to our Femdom relationship?

Recreational Femdom

I'm not cut out to be a lifestyle male slave. But becoming the property of my owner is still deeply fulfilling.

Time Without Her

While the woman I worship is away I will offer speculations about the sources of my D/s desires.

Getting Into the Mood, Setting the Mood

BDSM question: how does a dominant get into the mood to take control of his or her slave?

D/s: An Imperfect Session

Female dominance, male submission isn't always as easy as you hope.

D/s and sleep

Couples in even a part time BDSM relationship need enough sleep if they are going to play.

Missed Cues

In D/s relationships it is important to be able to spot the cues your owner is giving you.

After Two Months

My first two months as a male slave.

Unequal Dominant/Slavish Desires (A Follow-Up)

Male slaves who want more D/s play than their Mistresses feels able to supply.

On Wanting More Than Her

Fear that my masochistic cravings my damanged my mixed D/s, traditionally romantic relationship.


Lack of clarity about informal power exchange rules.


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