Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fuzzy

And fonder and some days sadder.

When after her first visit Alexandra returned to England the S&M Circus setup shop once again.

No shame in that: she didn’t object. Besides we enjoy a happily sadomasochist love affair. Our relationship was in the early stages of creation; there was little surety as to how fetish/BDSM parts of it might develop.

The good part of that first separation is that it gave each of us free space in which to evaluation what we’d done together and think more clearly about where we might be going.

This time the separation has been longer. Some nights my imagination rushes into old familiar sordid back alleys of fantasy. But not for long. The images are lurid but uncompelling.

And some of the passageways appear to have been boarded up (smug old superego). So I don’t get to wallow in the mental mud that much.

Anymore it can be hard to work up anything more colorful than being leashed and licking her boots. Which is to say I gently bask in the paradise of being her pet.

Others I’m just sitting on the floor while we watch a movie.

Lately kink isn’t even present. Just sweethearts entwined.

The fetishes are always fun. But they’d be greatly diminished if she weren’t someone that I want to come home to and just cuddle.