On Loving a Transsexual Woman
» Gender Follies , » Prior Relationship
Feeling a bit vexed I want to rant.
My beloved Alexandra is a transsexual.
Men who think that our relationship isn’t authentically F/m or that she is transgendered adds extra kink to our relationship just don’t understand.
I rarely think of Alexandra as a transsexual. I think of her as a girl, a woman. Which is how most mtf transsexual females see themselves.
Gender isn’t just biology: it is also self-image and performance.
While I have a tender regard for transgendered persons I’m not a “tranny chaser.”
I’m a guy with special empathy for those whose atypical gender has often left them wounded by an unsympathetic, uncomprehending world. Straight, bisexual and gay their individual qualities rarely match what is presented in mass culture.
She isn’t a chick with a dick or a “dickgirl” (the latter new to me when I ran across it the other day). Nor would I call her a “shemale.”
I don’t condemn men with a tranny fetish. Though the transgendered women may have different feelings.
I’m not familiar with ts porn but imagine much of it is made with PhotoShop.
Some transsexuals turn to sex work because rejection by friends and family leaves them little alternative. Some do so to save for the surgery that will allow her to have the body that matches the image of her authentic self. (There is a small group of gender outsiders that choose to live as hermaphrodites.)
That she is a transsexual doesn’t make her a specialty on the fetish menu. I didn’t fall in love with her because of that. Perhaps it requires some extra understanding. Though I can hardly say that: respect your lover seems obvious. She’s the girl I love. Period.
Whatever her final choice - srs, biological androgyny, something as yet unanticipated - I will love her. As a pansexual man I am free of the confines of monosexuals.
I’ve loved genetic females. I love Alexandra as a female.
Comments
Richard,
This is a very nice little excerpt. I’m sure that Alexandra is a very lucky girl indeed :-)
Tabitha
Posted by: Tabitha Sinn | March 4, 2006 3:17 PM
Thank you! Finally somebody else who sees transsexual females like I do, you said it very well and I applaud you for doing so. The World will be a lot nicer when mankind can look at someone whom is different than they and not feel threatened, enough already.
Posted by: Smokefly | March 13, 2006 11:06 AM
I am a ‘genetic’ female, but my girlfriend is transsexual. Emma and I are extremely happy, and though she’s only just come out to her family and friends (and thus hasn’t started her therapy), it’s true second nature for me to see her as nothing but female.
We are slowly exploring a D/s relationship with myself as the Domme, but as you have said I don’t make a fetish of the fact she was born into the ‘wrong body’. I love her for who she is, who she wants to be. We have a healthy, loving albeit young relationship, and we will face everything as true equals, no matter how submissive she is.
(I love you, Emma.)
Posted by: Aisha | March 15, 2006 11:38 AM