Profiting From the Loss of Libido

Happily my loss of sex drive and masochism diminishes not a whit my pleasures in surrender and romance.

I love Alexandra: the lack of an erection doesn’t change or diminish that.

At least three good things that emerged from this experience come to mind.

The most important is simple: we survived it. No recrimination, bitching, doubting the other. Nothing could more deepen my appreciation of how lucky I am to have Alexandra in my life.

The caning was a good first step to insuring that some aspect of our power exchange finds expression when it might not otherwise. There were days I’d come home and pettily I wish we’d never started this. That didn’t stop me from dropping my pants and bend over. I hope we can perhaps expand this ritual in a way that will make it a stronger reinforcement but without becoming complicated.

The happiest outcome was my sitting on the floor. I don’t know how many times she told how much she’d like that. I resisted, not because I didn’t want to be there: I was afraid I would be offering something that I was unable to follow-up.

I came to love being there: near her boots, always able to lower my head to her lap in love and submission. Always rewarded by the caress of her hand.

In a fuzzy way at times it almost felt like 24/7. Sometimes I had to struggle just a little bit to get in position to lick her boots.

Even simple things like making her coffee when I was tired felt good. It wasn’t an order but a request. To be honest I might curse under my breath before I did. But I made the coffee.

Naturally I always want to please my lover but in overcoming my mood to oblige her there was a curious satisfaction.