Rituals, Affirmations & Protocols to Come ...
» Prior Relationship
Alexandra and I have been mulling over the use of what I’ll call “directed talk” - inspired in part by Lady Julia’s writing on hypnotism and D/s. She writes:
In a recent email Richard has explained to me how having me talk to him in a very general sense about our relationship as owner/pet every once in a while may help him get into role.
This is not “Grovel slave!” which I’ll own does thrill my slavish little soul. It is Alexandra helping me remember my pleasure in pleasing her. Honestly, just sitting at her feet more would leave me a happier man.
We tried some protocol a couple of nights. Sadly it didn’t flow as smoothly as we hoped and was abandoned:
For some reason it seemed that pet boy would magically assimilate the rules as I wrote them down which is unrealistic without putting in the right amount of effective training first (no matter how eager he is to please) - and training is cumulative, building one principle on top of another slowly so they can be absorbed.
Training is satisfying because you feel that you are learning how to please your specific owner and not some generic Domme. It also helps quench the need to feel owned. I treasure both Lady Discipline’s iron will wrapped in velvet gloves and my Goddess’ gentle admonishments to do better.
Funny how this made my heart beat faster:
Small gestures outside of D/s. This is one of the things that attracted me to Richard in the first place.
This is where I feel I’ve let Alexandra down the most. My ruinous prior relationship seemed to have burnt out part of my natural responses. I do so badly want to treat her always as my Lady Faire. Sometimes I did feel that I was invisibly bowing my head even though my neck didn’t move.
A lover’s delight, a pet’s adoration, a slave’s worship. Distinct, inseperable. Each reaching down into my heart and focused only on Alexandra as we try to enrich out bonding and give each other joy.
And she wrote this. Since I’m still letting it sink in I’m going to do the unlikely and not say anything:
Comments
I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, for some reason it’s only truly registered how lucky I am to have someone who listens. I feel a bit bad about letting you down with the big lapse in writing, because I did say I would make an effort to continue this channel of communication during this stint in Blair World. Sorry pet xxx
Posted by: Alexandra | October 4, 2006 5:05 PM