Time Without Alexandra
» Prior Relationship
I haven’t been writing about our relationship of late. Alexandra is busy being creative. I have lots to do. And the heat wave keeps me away from this PC. The window near where I sit has a hole in it. With a heat index - I’m in central North Carolina - of 105 degrees I get sweating even in light clothes.
(Why don’t I fix the hole? When women express admiration for men with practical skills I reflect with minor regret they aren’t talking about knowing which Sarah Vaughan CD to put on to set the proper mood.)
We are both more comfortable - if not at all happy - with our having to spend months apart. My feelings about myself are always colored by Alexandra being part of my life. Our love if part of my identity you might say.
I do miss not being able to snuggle up with my beloved. Life can’t give me more than that.
And has long been the case at night often I think of myself kneeling before her. Especially I reflect on her last time home. There were times when I thought I’d never be able to rise from my knees. Part of me didn’t want to. The visible expression of adoration and wholesome humility made me very happy.
With almost indecent patience I wait for her to come back and to feel my collar about my neck.
Comments
Sweet, sweet Richard. Your poignant remarks touched me deeply. Even me, who stays purposely on the single side of life, certainly longs for those “cuddle” moments.
I just answered an email from a fellow just starting out in the BDSM scene which really tore me up. He was — as most new-to-the game twenty-somethings are— ready to “get on with it now.” Not even knowing me he sent personal info, pics and more, pleading to be my “whore boy to rent out to whomever” and requesting 24/7 ownership with caging, regular beatings, body modification and even mentioned castration.
I sent him your, Alexandra’s and Tom Allen’s (Edge of Vanilla)links as examples of people who were getting it right. And (gently, ever so gently) explained that successful full time/long term kinky relationships, just like any good relationship, require at least a modicum of affection and even mutual respect. And that they need to meld with the everyday and even mundane rhythms of life.
But I forgot to mention the “cuddle” factor. Oh, how hope that heeded my advice and has visited your blog and read this. The need for the human touch from someone who loves us is inherent in all of us. To ignore it is a devastatingly stupid thing to do.
With deep affection, Angela
Posted by: Angela St. Lawrence | August 20, 2007 4:44 PM