Punishment (Again)
» Punishment & Discipline
The misreading of an email got me to thinking about punishment again.
Among my masochistic desires it is as mysterious as potent.
How odd it is to want someone to find fault with you. To have her or him become angry because of perceived inadequacy or a failure to perform. But for me being a target of wrath is as hot as my masochism can get. That it is illogical is irrelevant. Sexuality isn’t the ramification of a set of theorems. Sexuality just is: if it isn’t dangerous or wicked then sanity is seeking to realize it, by whatever odd routes.
Many tops seem to find these desires baffling or wrong-headed. Some express a belief that the bottom will fail or defy hoping to prompt punishment. That is a failure to understand the compliant nature of consensual erotic submission. The last thing a person in a submissive emotional state wants is to be is displeasing. You don’t want to cheat. (Though I see in M/f that ‘brattiness’ is a not uncommon mode of play.)
It can be a bit of work for a sane masochist to come up with reasons for being punished. So you construct fantasies full of protocols and rules that would be maddening to cope with in real life. Or deserving chastisement for merely being [insert generic condition here]. Or you just dream of the sadist being drunk and out of control (yeah, very naughty).
We can’t help it that an angry look, the tone of rebuke is a source of goose pimples.
I’m only making a case for punishment as a form of play. Not as aversion therapy.
Comments
Richard,
i was always quite happy to disobey orders from time to time until the hairbrush came along. Now i have to weigh the punishment with my desire to disobey. For tops it’s a matter of finding the correct punishment and then it is easy to control the brattiest of subs.
Posted by: dollinparadise | January 16, 2008 11:22 PM
For me the punishment protocol descends not from retribution for an omission, but rather as foreplay, a prelude to my Dominant’s sexual pleasure. i am beaten, or tortured not because i have “earned it” but rather because it excites Her to do it.
Therein lies a form of submission. It gets her off.
Posted by: tamehorse | January 19, 2008 11:04 AM
I’m not using punishment as a synonym for physical pain.
I’m talking about a form of psychological play - psychodrama - physical S&M, humiliation, other things may be a part of it but isn’t the essence.
Posted by: Richard | January 19, 2008 2:59 PM
after a spanking by my wife my bottom is so sore i close the door to our bedroom and apply lotion to reduce the pain. thinking of why i got whipped made me sure that what got her upset would not happen again. we both have a consensual agreement which permits spanking for punishment. this form of discipline is over and done promptly which clears the air and eliminates otherwise long arguments followed by periods os silence lasting for hours.
Posted by: howard | May 22, 2008 9:28 AM
Are you able to discuss things without arguing?
How do you decide who is wrong?
Posted by: Richard | May 22, 2008 9:50 AM