Punishment as Education
» Punishment & Discipline
There are two reasons I don’t think in terms of lifestyle D/s.
I will always need a fair amount of time under my own control, devoted to my own goals and purposes. Without that space in which I grow and evolve I would cease to be myself. Richard would wither.
Though I’ll confess that Destiny and chance - a couple of rare quality - prove it can be made to work. But rarity is by its nature uncommon.
Nor can I connect with is essentially an aspect of my sexuality with being edified or improved. Self-enhancement is mostly an internal process. Interaction with valued friends can bring clarity and focus to this unending project.
A top who is my friend, or my beloved can aid but by conversation, not correction.
Chastisement is a necessary part of the behavior modification of children to live within society. But will always fail on a mature human. And should an adult be immature surely he or she needs something other than educational discomfort.
Punishment can be sexy and fun but I can’t imagine it as a real tool for personal growth.
Comments
This is a difficult topic. I don’t think punishment is a necessary component of a d/s relationship, but I’ll tell you how it’s working for me.
I get to give Joscelin tasks. If he doesn’t complete them (which sometimes happens, of course), then what?
If I had no recourse, I would just be disappointed and/or frustrated. Of course, this is basically how things are in vanilla relationships, but we’re not trying to have one of those.
In this relationship, I can punish him. Now, there is nothing I can do as punishment that I can’t do anyway. Limits and safewords all apply as normal.
Punishment is so much cleaner for us than my just being angry or upset or (eventually) accusational or whatever. I can just have a consequence for him and move on.
Posted by: Dev | December 1, 2007 8:53 PM