Play : Time, Mood, Depth, Intensity

I have heard we are all tops, and we all dance, and sometimes it cant click and we just step on each others toes…

In my eye, I am going to “try” to put our scene play into a non metaphoric analysis.

I am often dragged out of play by the little things.. (as are many others) Yes I want to be tied up, yes I want to beat stretched, yes I want to be filled with a crazed emotional overload. But when I go to be tied up, I have noticed that even the greatest bondage fan shrinks back. The little thoughts crowd your mind, and you just want to stay un fettered watching TV. “Oh those ropes are going to cut a little circulation off.. Oh I don’t want to be on my knees they hurt.. And many other little recognitions of basic things we all put up with can shut a submissive apparently down.”

Thus they say tie me up, but 5 or 10 minutes later they may react as though they really just want to watch TV on the couch all night or play a video game or run an errand. The human brain, even in a masochist, still has a defensive logic trigger that can just override the desire to be trussed up and played with like a piggy.

Which brings me to expanding limits and exploring.

When the desire builds to that point where the body desire to play overrides the brains impulse to stop, (“Shut up brain or Ill stab you with a Q-Tip” Homer J. Simpson) that is when the logic and understanding of beat me till I scream comes to the surface.

I personally want deep inside me, to experience and be put in things that I would never admit, or never do without force or extreme coercion. I constantly hunger to try new and torturous challenges, I always seek that next sensory deprived pit of blackness where the mind can truly slip away into subspace, and one can journey on.

This is an advanced, and quite genius statement, NOT to be taken by beginners, or new partners, or unseasoned players in ANY form. “I want you to force me to do things that I don’t want you to force me to do.” What does that mean to a masochist or a submissive. It of course does not mean rape a person who says no, or has been traumatized by rape. It does not mean beat me when I say no or red.

It is a genius statement that simplifies the complex understanding of a submissive soul. It states I want you to rip me apart and take out my core, look upon it, show it to me, and place it carefully back. I want to be taken and pushed just a little farther.

The hardest part about playing together in BDSM, is playing. Time, place, constraints.. And even when you have all the toys together and everything is ready, something doesn’t click, and you just give up and hop on the couch.

Let me tell you this piece of advice right here right now. The best thing you can do, is put the cuffs on or any piece of rope or gear. Don’t give up or shy away thinking about the little discomforts. Put on a cuff, or a gag, or tie your ankles together first.. Feel it, think about it, and I guarantee.. A few minutes later you’ll be ready to play.

When our endorphins aren’t ready or we want it, but our brain is telling you it hurts, it is SO easy to turn away. But when you do, its like drinking down a black thick poisonous liquid. I’ve felt it a hundred times. Its like holding back or swallowing your own soul. And enough times of that and a partner can feel alone or neglected. This well fills up inside, and then blocks the want to play more and more.

To me, it is healing, to realize this well, and be tied down and just take it hard. My partner understands that need to be taken raw.. And in the same respect her blackness heals and is taken away by this beautiful gift.

Put a piece of gear on, surprise your partner with it. If you really don’t want to play, then sit on the couch with your hands cuffed, snuggling and kissing. A little bit of kink is still very healthy.

In the long run for a BDSM Soul, it heals, and nurtures what is already there. The love and bond between two people who understand. Take me on that long walk, lead me blindfolded and gagged, and bring me back safe to your arms. For this is my motto, this is my creed, this is my life.

I want you to force me to do things that I don’t want you to force me to do.