Unable to Stop Masturbating
» Questions & Observations by Others
billy asks:
i am engaged to the most wonderful Woman in the entire world. i am slowly making Her see that i need Her control of all of my physical life activities (She already has control of my entire emotional and mental life). My problem richard is that i just don’t seem to be able to stop masturbating. Try as i might, every single chance i get, my hands are in my crotch, stroking my dick and fondling my balls and this continues far longer than a particular session lets a guy keep an erection. i confess to my Lady over and over again, humiliating myself and submitting my will to hers, but the urge comes right back stronger than ever. i mean this thing is no longer enjoyable and is starting to take all of the time that i should be devoting to family, career and my Ladies desires. Short of advising me to get a chastity device, can you help me? i am already in counseling but i only see her once a month which doesn’t seem to be helping much.
You don’t explain what prompts the excessive masturbation. Nor if you are in a D/s relationship or trying to move her into one.
My heaviest periods of masturbation have been prompted by certain kinds of stress:
A really bad, sexually dead relationship. It was a response to misery though I also kept pushing myself because I wanted to stop feeling any sexual desire.
For counseling to help you probably need to be seen weekly. Even then the only thing a counselor can do is try to help you learn self-control. There’s isn’t a magic solution. You could present yourself as clinically depressed and get a prescription for a SSRI like Zoloft. Those kill sexual desire in most people. Sadly they usually remove romantic feelings as well and are damnably addictive.
Within BDSM there is prostate massage. You would use something like a dildo to cause yourself to ejaculate without orgasm. This would leave you - for a limited time - unable to masturbate to orgasm. Though this sounds rather cumbersome and from what you say you might need to do it frequently.
I can’t help but wonder if you are letting your masturbation run wild in an effort to force her to take control of your sexuality. I think it is an underappreciated aspect of orgasm denial that some men want this form of control more than they do conventional sex. And they find behaviors that will force women to forbid them orgasms.
Not that I’m anyone to be offering advice on self-control.
