When Play Spankings Become Punishment

Intriguing question!!! While I can’t speak specifically to my spouse having gotten carried away during a spanking, I can from a submissive’s POV, and the answer is emphatically yes. I have been taken far beyond what I ever thought the spanking would entail. I don’t mean that she ignored the consensual area, she was determined to teach me a lesson, period. I knew I’d transgressed, but I never ever imagined I’d receive the tanning I did. I was crying, bawling even, begging her to stop. The situation was outside our Mistress/slave relationship and involved what she considered a breach of trust on my part. It was brutal, painful, humiliating … and, in the end, the best thing that she could have done. I changed my ways, and I’m better for this. Not exactly on target, but somewhat. I suspect a good spanking from a wife every once in a while would work wonders for a hubby’s compliance. Thanks, Chris

Hi, just to say that I enjoy your columns and to tell you what happened to me 3 days ago. I have been married for a good 25years and in the last 3 have been getting very pleasant spankings from my wife although it took a lot of persuading on my part to get her to do it at first as she did not want to hurt me, or so she said. But gradually her expertise grew and so did our collection of hairbushes that I bought for her to use, but she has never brought me to tears until me and my big mouth got me into trouble the other day. The kids were all out with their friends and I said now was a good time to have a spanking session. She agreed and we went to the bedroom where I stripped down to my underpants and laid across her knees as she sat on the bed. She started off with 50 smacks as usual over my pants with her hand and then pulled them down and off then gave me another 50 with her hand as I squirmed and wriggled with pleasure. She told me as normal that my bottom was a nice pink colour, then she picked up the paddle-brush and gave me another 50 with that a bit harder and told me my bottom was now a nice shade of red. Then she put some baby oil onto my bottom and rubbed it in soothingly and asked me if I was enjoying my spanking to which I as usual said yes, and then she moved me over to one knee and put her leg over my calves and asked for my hand which she took firm hold of up my back and picked up the hardbacked hairbush as is normal for the final 50 hard slaps that she gives me with it. As she delivered the last one of these she told me my bottom was a deep dark red and do I think she’d done a good job on me, I said as usual she had but one day I would like her to take me to tears and beyond just for the experience as I’ve often asked her before, to which she had always replied that no, she didn’t like to do that and also I had never done anything to deserve it. This time to my surprise she said there was no time like the present and if I wanted an honest to goodness hard spanking she would give me one that I would remember for a long time to come, and gripping me tighter she began to swing that hard brush with gusto and they were slow but very hard, it must have been about 30 of these whacks that I was asking her to stop. She ignored me and continued, about 5 minutes later I was begging, she chose not to hear me and carried on, now tears were in my eyes and I’m pleading, no response, just whack whack whacking away, now the pain was unbearable and I was sobbing like a kid, still she spanked on until a good 10-15 minutes later she halted. I just lay there crying openly and wretchedly. She picked up the baby oil and I nearly went through the roof as she applied it to my swollen, black and blue bottom. “Now you have had a Proper spanking, I hope you have got this nonsense out of your system once and for all, I don’t mind giving you the spankings that we normally do but if you ever ask for a proper one again, what you have just received will seem mild to what you get next time do I make myself clear?” She said. I could only sob and nod my head in abject agony. Was it something I said?

A lady friend spanked me at my request a couple of times and then one day she demanded that I submit to her and accept real punishment. It meant that instead of the agreed-upon positions I had to assume any position she chose. Also whereas consensual spankings are delivered when I am nude, for this she pulled my briefs down. It was an unbelievable experience, very very different, not totally acceptable to me. But I would agree that from now on I will say the dreaded declaration: “Spank me on your terms, as much as YOU think I need, in the positions YOU desire, with the implements of YOUR pleasure.” hard for someone who is really only a switch spankophile to even prounce such submissive words

Hello, I am a woman who has always liked giving a spanking, it was usually to my brothers as they were all younger than me and I found out that they behaved better for me after a session over my knees. Both parents worked so it was up to me to raise the brood of 5 brothers. As time went on and I entered my 20s my sights changed and I longed to take an adult male over my knees and give him a good spanking, but no such luck. Then into my 30s and still the same thoughts and same response. I entered my 40s still single and still unfulfilled in my spanking quest until when I reached 45 and I met Rob. Rob was 2years my junior, slim, wavy dark hair, 5ft 6in to my 5ft 10in, I was almost but not quite his width. From the start we got on well together where we worked and after about 3 months we started dating. We had lots of laughs and he had this wonderful way about him that made him look more like a mischievous boy than a man when he was pulling pranks or teasing people which was most of the time. Well one saturday we were round his house and we were snogging on the couch and getting steamy when he said to me that one thing he would like to try was giving me oral down below as it would be a new experience for him and what would I like in return. Now could I tell him what I had longed to do for so many years or would he think me totally sick and be out of my life quicker than a flash. He saw the troubled look on my face and smilingly told me that He’d been around and nothing could shock him and whatever it was would just stay between us. So with a big sigh I told him. He looked at me when I had finnished and grinned at me. ” Ok, look, let me see if I can make you happy down below and if I don’t, you can put me over your knee and spank me how’s that?” he said smiling. I nodded and before I knew it my skirt was pushed up, my panties pulled down and he was doing wonderful things to me down below with his mouth and tongue, and about 10 lovely minutes later I was having a terrific orgasm. When I had stopped shuddering and had calmed down he told me I was wonderful and he really enjoyed making me come that way. I was both happy and sad at the same time and he saw it. He grinned at me as he sat down on the floor and took his shoes off. Then he gave me another cheeky grin as he stood up and undone his trousers and pulled them down and kicked them free. ” I’m ever so sorry Ma’am doing something like that to a lady of your standing, please give me a spanking to teach me a lesson in manners.” He said as he hung his head down in mock shame. I laughed and clapped my hands in delight both at his acting and what he was offering me. Then soberly putting on a firm look I said to him “Yes you naughty boy a spanking is just what you deserve, now get yourself across my knees and don’t keep me waiting if you know what’s good for you.” He laid himself across my lap and I lifted his shirt up his back and there he was, white pants and all waiting for me to spank. At last. I began spanking, first one cheek then the other, spank after spank after spank. I must have given him about 30 when I stopped and his bottom seemed quite red beneath his underpants and from the bare flesh either side of them. “Well you bad boy, are you sorry now?” I said to him in mock sterness?” “Er I,m not sure ma’am.” came his reply. “What do you mean, you are not sure?” I asked him giving him another slap. “Well, when I was little and I did something naughty, Momma always spanked on the bare until I was sore, and promising to be good.” He said, turning round and grinning mischievously up at me. Oh, I took the hint alright. ” I agree with Momma and I shall carry on on the bare, just as she would.” I said firmly to him as I pulled his pants down baring his bottom. I began spanking again, this time with firmer spanks and by the time I’d reached 30 again his bottom was glowing a nice cherry red and he was wriggling and going oohh oouch at each slap and I was enjoying myself so much I didn’t want to stop, but I knew I had to. “There you naughty boy, has that made you into a good boy now?” I said as I gave him a final slap. ” Yes ma’am, you slap as hard as my Momma used to and I’m glad that I——>” He was about to say something else but stopped. “Come on, glad that what?” I asked him curously as I stroked his bare hot bottom. “Well, sometimes when she spanked me like that, I was still to mouthy for my own good and would give her a flip answer and that would be it, out would come the hairbrush, she’d move me over one knee and locking her leg over the back of mine so I couldn’t move and grabbing my hands up my back so I couldn’t reach back to protect my bottom, she would spank and spank for ages and ages until her arm got tired and I was just a blubbering mess over her knee with a bottom so bruised and blistered that I couldn’t sit for days after, needless to say, I didn’t sass her all that often.” He said turning his face to me with a rueful grin. “Well my lad just you be careful around me or the next time you go over my knee I’ll finnnish up your spanking like Momma did, only if I use the brush you would think your Momma was a kind gentle soul compared to me.” I said sternly to him, and then we made mad passionate love on the carpet. Six months later we were married, and guess what? Today is the day I and I’m pretty sure he, have been waiting for, he crashed the car and got mouthy when I told him off about it and so I let him know it was going to be a spanking he would remember for a long while to come, hand and hairbrush. I will let you know the outcome soon.

my wife used to get me over her knees promising it would only be a play spank. i would agree and the feeling of her haibrush on my bare bottom felt good. then all of a sudden she started to whip me really hard and she continued until i was crying like a little kid. after it ended and the pain subsided she admitted i got spanked hard was for a misdeed that i had committed earlier in the week and the only way to punish me was to lure me across her lap stating it was going to be a fun spank which i enjoyed. i told her that in the future if i deserved a real whipping, discuss it and then consentually i would permit it. naturally she had to agree she would get the same treatment when necessary.

My girlfriend spanked me once by mistake, but we both knwe then that we woudl do it again - which we did, but does any other guy suffer embarrasssment when your “mistress” drops your trousers and exposes your underwear? In all my experience i still blush when she sees my colourful briefs (red, pink etc - never white) it is all the more ebarrassing when I am required to wear them in such a manner that others can see. MY bottom in the meantime is the same colour as my underwear, something she now enjoys sharing! I continue to enjoy both the red bum and the embarrassing red undies!

my experience with play spankings given to me by my wife happened when she had me over her knees, bare bottom and using a heavy plastic hairbrush. after a few hard spanks she remembered a misdeed recently committed by me and decided i need my bottom tanned real good. well it didnt take long for my rear to get rally stinging and soon i was begging for her to stop. wow did that brush set my bottom on fire. soon i found myself crying but she advised me thespanking would stop when she thought i learned a lesson. i had forgotten how much a spanking hurt when my dad usedto spank me and when she finally stopped i knew i would never repeat the misdoing again.

i have been spanked by my girlfriend i thought she meant play fun but it turned out to be a real spanking and she didnt quit till i was crying like a litte boy. i gave her the same treatment and we decided whippings were to be consentual and when needed the punishment should meet the crime. a sore bottom doesnt last too long but the memory of how it hurt kereps me on the straight and narrow.

Hello again, here is the update I promised you. When Rob came home he was all appologetic about the car and running of at the mouth to me, I smiled at him and told him that I accepted his appology but he was still going to be punnished for it and he meekly agreed, so we went to the bedroom and I told him to strip completly which he did, then sitting on the bed I told him to get over my knees. He did so and I began spanking his naked behind with my hand. I gave him 100 spanks fairly firm and his bottom was quite reddish when I halted, I told him that I was very disapointed in him and now that he’d had his warm-up his proper spanking was about to start and I would not be listening to any pleas from him until I had spanked him to my satisfaction. I then told him to move over one knee and I locked my leg over his calves, then I told him to give me his arm so I could hold it up his back so as he could’t try to protect his bottom from the hard and long spanking he was about to endure with the brush. So I picked up the hardbacked hairbrush and began spanking him with slow hard spanks and by the time I’d given him 50 he was asking me to stop, I said nothing but just carried on, by 100 he was begging, I just spanked, by 200 he was crying openly, still I spanked even harder now and quicker, by 400 he was sobbing uncontrolably, and by 500 he was totally devastated and just gulping between broken sobs. His bottom was black and blue all over and He just lay sobbing loudly over my lap as I told him that if ever he did something to upset me any more, then his next spanking would have no hand-warmup but 750 very hard hairbrush spanks. After an hour just crying and wimpering, I rubbed his bottom with some soothing oil and he promised never to upset me again if he could help it, so am I a good caring wife or a sadistic bitch?

Mommawife, that sounds like you pushed his limited whether he liked it or not. I am surprised he did not get up and hit you back.

Hello… I’m a boy and I’m new to this site. I’m very nervous posting a comment here… I’ve been looking at the site for acuple of days and im very interested. I have never been s-spanked befor by a woman (not in this way). I’m only 17 and something like that wont happen to me for a long time… if ever…. I’m not here for perverted reasons, but to share that it’s always been a dream of mine to be put over a ladies knee and spacked till I was wiggleing in pain. I’ve never really shared that with anyone but my best friend, so i thought this was a good place to go (for atleast a little while). I’m sorry I dont have any experences to post here, like i said befor, its never happened to me… I just thought it would be ok if i got up the bravery to say “hello”, as scared as i might be, and share my feelings and maybe get some “hello”s back ^^… I loved reading the blogs and the posts about woman spacking men… Hope it was ok to post here.

Thank you, Davey

Davey,

What two people do together to make each other happy isn’t perverted.

No reason to feel any shame about your desires. As you’ve read many share them.

Thank you Richard. I feel alot less embaressed and scared about posting thanks to your words and understanding. ^^

I am a bad boy who doesn’t get the good spankings i need.i am looking for a stern aunt or uncle to take me over their knee and spank my bare ass a nice shade of red and then bend me over and take me from behind.

I love to be spanked! Especially the way my boyfriend does it - he always know when I need it the most! Like the other night… We sat in the hot tub with our wine for about an hour, just relaxing after returning home and unpacking from a trip. Then we went to bed. He started to kiss me as we stood beside the bed and he pushed me backwards onto it and came toward me for some action. I couldn’t seem to get wet enough and he was not quite hard and ready yet either so he got out a little bullet vibrator and teased me awhile with it. I don’t know, I guess my head still wasn’t right for sex and he knew it. He vibrated around my front area and gently raised one leg to vibrate the crease between my bottom and my thigh. He knows that this is a very sensitive area for me. Gradually he turned me over and still vibrating, though now around my bottom and thighs, he moved his legs under me and got me into position there on the bed. He rubbed my bottom a little then and remarked as to how it looks like a bottom belonging to a 25 year old (I’m more than twice that) and then he proceeded to spank me, hard, landing several in the sensitive creases he’d just teased with the vibrator, while telling me in his somewhat harsh, principal-type voice that he would not tolerate my feeling sorry about my age or my wrinkles, that I’m very sexy and beautiful, etc. and that I will behave as such. The forceful yet loving words coupled with the very hard spanks soon got me back on track, releasing my demons. He then rubbed my back awhile before lifting me up to fuck me deep and hard in the doggie position. As he whammed into me my bottom begin to sting again as though he was spanking me again. WOW! When he came (as I did, many times) he laid down on top of me and brought his warm hands up to cup and caress the sides of my face. I smiled through tears as I thanked him for being the one person in the world that truly “gets” me and keeps me from thinking self-distructive thoughts that can get in the way of our relationship.

MommaWife, you did everything perfectly! On the whole, you should not fear to punish us, men, in any way you want (of course, physical injuries must be excluded). I recommend you to but a belt and hang it right above your bed to remind him what you will do with his bum whenever he makes a transgression. And, of course, don’t hesitate to use it directly, too :)

My wife and I have been married 24 years and during the past year we have been helped by a professional therapist to live with my need for spankings. She does not condemn this and in fact counseled my wife on spanking me firmly and regularly with a hairbrush. My spankings are not part of sex or games; they are given in a punishing manner and I have told my wife to consider me obedient to her. A typical spanking is 300-400 smacks and I have received 14 spankings to date from my wife.

Now to address the subject, I am once again meeting with the therapist, and she is having me work on preparing myself to confess to my wife that I am seriously ashamed of some behavior of mine and that she should spank me very intensely, and perhaps several times for my immaturity. This spanking (or spankings)will not be enjoyable at all and will very likely permanently alter our relationship.

This may not happen for a while though my therapist is preparing me for this and will see to it that is happens.

My confusion has been to interrate my strong desire to be spanked like a kid over a woman’s knees, with my basic perception of myself as a relatively normal almost macho confident guy, whose had a lot of successful sensual relationships, with the usual amount of bad ones, and who spent a career as a controlling authority figure. Now that I’m retired, I’m going to get my spankings one way or the other, be damned if I don’t, it’s just curious now and then, wondering whatinhell got me into this compulsion to be rather utterly submissive, when i don’t have a history of acting out that way. i’m pretty sure it came from a number of mis-perceived early childhood experiences, and so now, it seems much more normal to just go ahead and play with it for all it’s worth. For a long time, however, I was bothered by this spanking thing, thinking it meant that I was really f….ed up. Anybody relate to this?

Lots of men have eroticized childhood experiences this way. And there are plenty of us who feel no shame at all about our specific needs. The trick is to meet a decent person who shares them.

I’m an older guy who really needs to be spanked hard-like an ignore any portest once and for all. I’m unsure hiow women really feel about such and the ned makes me feel hurt and lonely

Finally. I seem to have found a man who wants to be spanked as much as I want to spank him. We have talked it over and appear to be on the same page.

Please help. I want to make him cry, he wants me to make him cry. How hard? How many smacks? Hand first or hairbrush?

Depends on the person, mood and even the weather.

Probably best to start out light and work your way up so you can really gauge what he can handle. So start with your hand.

Brushes very considerably depending on what they are made of and how much they way.

Simple household items like wooden spoons can be very effective.

He may be working backward to some childhood spanking so some things may effect him more because of what they are than how they feel: a switch or leather belt.

i like being punished, i’m a spiky haired lad wwho likes doing punishments like essays and being spanked. im really naughty

so it was halloween and people are dressed up and being different. how and why what happened, i don;t care. it started with a hand spanking and then i needed more! belts and a/c cords! more, more more!and the young one is NOT CONVINCED. so she does double duty as i egg her on. more, black and blue (later) i showed her the lovely tatto she had done. she was upset for awhile but as time went by she enjoyed and controlled. we were in a bar many days later and i had A ROUGH TIME SITTING down. i grinned to her and she smugly grinned back. she knows i like it! ”

and now i must beg to have my ass and nipples and every section of my body be turned on by an accident of halloween

Since i was a child i wanted girls, and later women, to dominate me. By the end of high school i was asking for spankings. I got a few in my college years. Later i went back to college and finally found a neighbor who paddled me quite hard, harder than i had imagined. After about 3 paddlings in 2 weeks, we sort of stopped or no longer had the opportunity. Those were hard spankings, but i didn’t even know what was coming.

I married another girl, who never, ever wanted to paddle me. Of course, i needed a paddling very badly. Finally one day, she was quite angry with me, and we were not on the best of terms. She asked if i still wanted a paddling. I didn’t, but knowing this was what i wanted all my life and would continue to need, i knew i better accept.

I got the paddle, which was actually a 3/4-inch thick bread cutting board into which i had drilled 5 holes to make it swing easier. Same paddle the last girl had used on me.

I knelt in front of our sofa with my elbows on the sofa to support my self..My (now ex-) wife swung and hit harder than i have ever been hit. Then a long pause, so i asked: “When going to start?” Mostly because what i really wanted was a long series of whacks and stinging. We continued this little cycle several more times and each time she whacked me harder. I was in a different world. Then she began hitting me steadily, about as hard as she could. Finally she stopped. She had been seated on the sofa next to me.

Afterward I went into the bedroom. She followed me and wanted me to admit i had lied, which i had not. So, i did not admit to a lie, because that would have been another lie. So, she quickly retrieved the paddle from the living room, came into the bedroom, opened my pants and pulled them and my underwear down with dexterity i never knew she had. She ordered me to bend over.

We had propped up our bed on cinderblocks to make room for storage in our student apartment. So, as i bent over the bed, i was still standing.

Now, she began to paddle very hard. She used a 180 degree swing with both hands with that 3/4-inch cutting board. I screamed with every whack, and she did not stop. I had never been in so much pain. As long as she kept going, there was nothing i could do really. I managed to take a blanket corner in my mouth to bite on, and jumped with every whack. She must have struck me over 100 times until she decided to stop.

I was black and blue, and my bum stayed colored for about 3 weeks, going through a rainbow of colors as it healed.

We divorced within a year, and i never got another paddling from her. That was 1992, and i’ve still only had a few minor paddlings since. I doubt i’ll forget that day. Afterward, several hours afterward, i began to realize i was glad she had paddled me, though it was too hard. I was able to focus much better on her and on my work for several weeks after as i continued to feel the pain.

Now, 15 years later, i’d be glad to submit to such a paddling again, just to get paddled!!! I’d be willing to submit to a man or woman, but never happens.

I think that play spankings becoming punishment is a great way to get started with a partner who you are a little afraid of asking to give you the spanking you want for fear that they will react badly or something. If it starts with a play spanking, and they find they really like giving it, then it can work up to the punishment that you would like. Conversely, if they see that you are really turned on by it and ask or do things to initiate a “punishment/play” spanking, then they be more motivated to get into the scene with you. I have had some partners that have tried spanking me that way and eventually I can ask for what I really want - a hard over the knee bare bottom spanking.

I had a girlfriend back when I was in high school. One night when I was with her while she was babysitting her older sister’s 2 boys she had just finished spanking them with their mom’s wooden hairbrush. When she came back from their room I started kidding her and saying things like: “You sure are a mean mommy!” and “I’ll bet spankings from you don’t hurt very much!” She set the hairbrush down and started watching TV and sort of ignored my comments. After a while I told her that I’d like to go over her knee for a spanking and she said to me in an irritated voice: “Oh, really!” I answered: “Yes, spank me now!” Her reply was: “Should I?” To which I exclaimed: “Yeah! Take me over your kne and spank my bare bottom with that hairbrush!” When she answered: *Nah!”, I came back with: “Yeah, go ahead, I dare you! You’re not big enough to spank me hard and make me cry!” She must have realized that I was serious when I stood up and standing next to her I said: “C’mon, take my pants down and spank me!” because the next thing I knew she was unbuckling my belt, and in no time at all I found myself bare bottom over her knee, and that little girl (she’s only 5 ft. tall) could paddle my bottom worse that my mom used to. She had me bawling and begging for her to stop after the first few cracks with that wooden hairbrush.” She ignored my pleas for mercy and paddled me for a good 5 minutes, and when it was over she took me over to the corner and had me stand there with my nose to the wall for an hour.