Dominant Women Are Looking For ...

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I’m going to let you in on a Startling Femdom Secret!

MsX with whom I was exchanging a few emails wrote:

Sometimes I’m so tired of these labels (a sentiment I *know* you sympathise with). I just want to find someone who I enjoy and am attracted to, who is able to commit and communicate - and who feels the same about me :)

The secret? It has taken countless hours of research, reading weblogs by dominant women, visiting F/m forums.

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No popups. Nothing to pay. I do this for fun. Think of me as a one-man F/m Tumblr site.

There are plenty of dominant women looking for the right partner. Partner may seem too neutral a word but each is variously looking for a submissive or perhaps a slave. BDSM might be only now and then, a bit every evening or some form of lifestyle D/s. Or just a play partner. But I’m thinking of the women looking for a kinky boyfriend or lover.

Each dominant woman is as individual as any woman. But she has special needs that can make even her search more complicated than the norm.

You can read my How to Woo a Domme Online but I’ll give you a concentrated dose of advice.

Don’t invent forum names like pantyworm4u. She’d rather hear from Fred. Or a guy who’s handle reflects a non-fetish interest or is a clever joke.

Don’t PM or IM her saying “want u 2 crush my nuts” and certainly not “want u 2 crush my nuts while I sing the Star Spangled Banner and you wear a maroon miniskirt.”

Even if you are looking for a short-term kink playmate that isn’t the way to approach someone who is supposed to hold the power.

Much less a woman who for some reason decided that she is a person and would like to meet the same.

Fill out your profile damnit! And try to say more than “I’m a sissy painwhore who likes to do housework.” Well, if you are really keen on sweeping floors that might be OK. (Heck you can write to me: I hate housework.) Mention your interests and hobbies (which hopefully exceed watching television).

The essence is: be a person, be as polite as you are in real life (and if need be learn some manners). Treat her like a person.

Or hire a professional. She may not be interested in you but may take lively pleasure in spending your money.

Given that dominant women are uncommon it is mighty surprising that good submissive men can be hard for some - nice, kind, smart - women to find.

Go and sin no more! Or rather sin the right way.

This could go on forever. Share your suggestions, tales of woe or funny stories.


Most of the time subs/slaves send me photos of their cocks. Duhh? Like the size of their cocks matter to me! I prefer regular pics. I also enjoy chatting with subs who are very respectful and sensible but can make me laugh. I am human. I make mistakes. I need tenderness at times. It is hard for me to let my guard down and reveal who I am for some slaves get put off when they see their potential Domme as human too. If they see your weakness or your soft side they become insolent and hardheaded.

That some men who fancy themselves as having the need to submit feel uncomfortable with a Domina’s softer side is perhaps a sign of men wanting more sensation than women – though I hate those gender generalizations and the sad effect of spending too much time in fantasy.

Good to hear from you again. Don’t know if I ever thanked you for listing House of Kink on blog; I’ve had some good conversations there.


In response to your comment about submissives sending photos of their cocks, I would have a problem sending a photo of my cock. I can’t picture myself holding a camera with that large of a zoom and still be able to take a picture of my 2” limp cock. If I send a photo it would be of my nice tight muscular ass, makeing up for my little cock.

Have a great day.


very submissive

How nice for you. I think most Dommes are looking for a little bit more than that. Perhaps the ability to form complete sentences.

Not to mock you but if you can’t do more your submissiveness will get you nothing.

Aside from common sense things that people would do when attempting to meet anyone - Dom/me, submissive, vanilla, whatever - my primary suggestion would be this: Let her know you’re alinterested in her, not in just any Domme who will respond. Almost everyone wants to feel special and Dommes are no exception. If she has a website or blog - READ IT and then make comments or ask intelligent questions about the things you’ve read. Even if she doesn’t have a blog or website, ask respectful questions anyway.

I frequently receive email from men telling me how great I am and how they want to offer themselves to me to humiliate or inflict pain and I simply reply with two words, “why me?” It’s seldom they can formulate a reasonable response because they haven’t taken the time to get to know me before extending that oh-so-difficult-to-resist offer.

Eventually technicians will perfect a Dominatrix Robot and many of these guys will be able to get what they want.

I dont think of myself as submissive, but I have always found that I enjoy catering to a womans needs, I find pleasuer in her pleasure… I think of myself as a mans man in most regrds but I often have fantasies about the reversal and letting a strong woman be in charge. I would neer presume to know what she is looking for

For me the ideal situation would be:Meet that special wiman like you would with any other woman,than find out that she kind’a like to take control over your sexe life and see where it leads.Have a normal life with this woman in all other aspects.Respect,love,tenderness etc.

Your feelings?

Please share your feelings about Dominant Women Are Looking For .... Please stick to the topic of the entry. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,


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