How to Beat, Whip, Spank &etc. Your Slave

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When Alexandra and I started talking I searched for S&M websites that would offer safety advice and interesting torture techniques for whipping, spanking and the like.

Here’s a list of the S&M reference pages I found. Some are well known but perhaps they’ll help someone.

Old spanking paperback cover

General and Oddities of Beating a Slave

It depends on the results you want. If you have time enough, bind the bottom in the chosen position, get yourself a chair, sit down comfortably, and test the bastinado technique. Hit just hard enough to get some reaction from your bottom, and keep hitting regularly and rhythmically on both feet simultaneously or alternating between them.

Flogging on the feet

For us, hitting the hands has an added delight in the fact that you are in front of the punished, looking at the fear in her eyes, and noticing the trembling of her offered hand. After hitting, you can see the delightful suffering and the tears on her face.

Hitting on the hands

Erotic, Filthy, Sexy Fun for Submissive and Masochistic Men

Femdom Stories and Artwork


Female Domination and Male Slavery. 100% Femdom


No popups. Nothing to pay. I do this for fun. Think of me as a one-man F/m Tumblr site.

You should choose your whipping paraphernalia with care. Each item affects the skin differently. Flogging, which manifested as Whipping, Caning or Spanking, is one of my personal favourites. I thoroughly enjoy a good hard over the knee spanking. Of all flogging equipment this is the easiest to use. It is so basic. …

Thoughts on BDSM Toys

Physically, what is happening during a beating is that energy is being transmitted from the top to the bottom’s body surface. The cells are compressed, causing nerve cells sensitive to pressure to respond, and in most cases at least some of the cells are unable to absorb the energy and are damaged or destroyed, provoking a pain response too. Even fairly light beatings cause some tissue damage, though fortunately you can go a long way before damage to the surface becomes life-threatening: a greater danger is in damaging vital organs near the surface, which is why certain areas of the body should be avoided as explained in the notes on Safety.

Implements for Striking

Flagellation is both one of the most physical and one of the most psychologically powerful SM activities. It therefore provides a good illustration of the two intermingled pleasures of SM. …

The Flagellation Factsheet: Practical

Birch Rods

This article is rewritten from a previous essay and examines the proper construction of a genuine birch rod.

Birch Rods 101

Prompted by the use of this implement in “The Yellow Room” (and if you haven’t read the book elsewhere on this site yet, you should!), I was sufficiently intrigued about its use and effect to consider making one. This page is an ongoing description of how I fared, along with one young lady’s account of the results.

The Birch

Sardax book cover

Paperback cover by Sardax.


Psychologically, it can be highly fetishized and formal. Physically, it places great demands on the Canee’s resolution and fortitude. For the caner it is almost an equally challenging exercise in concentration, technical skill, and psychological dominance.

Six of the Best: Canes and Caning

Many people are (rightly) fearful of “The Cane”. At school I was subjected to its full potential as an instrument of punishment. …

Erotic Caning

The cane is the reason why erotic flagellation is known as the English Vice. As iconic as the maritime cat-o’-nine-tails, Scottish tawse, fraternity paddle, and the American bullwhip may be, none is so perfectly suited to the task at hand. None possesses the elegant severity of a thin, swishy wand of rattan.

The Rod of Rods


Every flogging is at least slightly different, even between the same partners using the same equipment and the same scenario. The range of what different people do at different times in different combinations is virtually infinite, and ranges from the merely symbolic to the … and this is not necessarily a bad thing … profoundly traumatic.


If all things are equal, the more tails a flogger has, the slower it travels, and the longer the tails are, the more leverage is gained. Both of the above make a flogger heavier, but the longer tails can make it disproportionately more difficult to control, therefore many of the ‘standard’ floggers have tail lengths between 15 and 22 inches. It is possible to do quite interesting things with a long flogger, such as laying it down an entire back at once, but this is not recommended for beginners as it can take serious practise to do well. Very short floggers have special uses for close work, one nipple at a time, that sort of thing. Floggers with perhaps 15 to 25 tails are average, twice that makes a heavier version of the same design.

Grim’s Flogging FAQ

Areas of the body such as joints, or places where internal organs are not protected by bones, should never be struck with anything harder than a caressing, brushing stroke. Also, avoid heavily striking areas over bones that aren’t protected by layers of tissue, such as the collarbone and the anklebones. Don’t strike the bottom’s face when the bottom’s eyes are open and unprotected.

When flogging the back heavily, avoid the lower back below the ribcage, where the kidneys are exposed. Also, avoid striking the spine heavily and directly. Avoid heavily striking the base of the neck, or anything above it.

Guide to Erotic Flogging


One of the factors that sets spanking apart from other forms of swatting is the deliberate and sometimes ceremonial positioning of the participants. While some spankings are haphazard, I prefer spankings that include the ritual of positioning.

Spanking Positions

If you’d like to talk to people who spank and enjoy being spanked and read spanking stories you might enjoy the Google group soc.sexuality.spanking. First you might want to read the soc.sexuality.spanking FAQ.

A spanking can be done in any number of positions and is comprised of striking the buttocks and sometimes the upper thighs. There are those who say a spanking is only a spanking if just a hand is used and only buttocks are struck. I’m not one of those.



But while administering the strap was an art, avoiding its full effects was an even greater one. Few modern pupils will have heard of their grandfather’s ideas. Such as placing a horsehair across the palm or rubbing the palm with a raw onion to cut down the pain. Other boys and girls placed their faith in spitting on their hands, or, if lucky enough, heating their fingers and palms on a radiator before receiving their punishment. …

A History of the Scottish Tawse

Old Femdom book


One way of thinking about whipping is as another way of touching someone. People who are just getting into SM frequently play with spanking; it’s fun to be spanked! It’s a punishment, it’s a strong stimulus, it hurts very pleasurably. But if you’ve ever spanked anyone for a long time you know that your spanking hand wears out quickly!

Well, that’s what whips are for—to allow you to hit someone for a longer time, without tiring out. There are many varieties of whips (cat-o-nine tails, heavy floggers, canes, light braided switches, suede pussy whips, and on and on), all of which feel very different and which have their own individual effect. …

Is Whipping Fun?

In my desire to frighten her i was concentrating on walking it higher up her inner thigh and forgot about the ceiling fan. When the fall caught in the fan blade I just kept following thru and in a single second my romantic night was over and the fan was not so delicately laying atop my sub. LESSON ONE: always check for clearance a 4’ bullwhip means an 8’ ball of potential objects to break.

Bullwhip Home Page

Scourges, multi-tailed whips, had been used as a punishment instrument throughout all man’s history. Egyptians, Romans, Hebrews, everybody had them. But the most famous is the “cat o’nine tails”, “cat o’nine” o just “the cat”.

The Cat o’nine tails (1) and (2).

Pointers to BDSM websites featuring reference materials on corporal punishment will be appreciated. No pay sites.


I have met a man whom I love more than I can say.He LOVES to be spanked,preferably with a hairbrush.When he first told me about this,I just figured it was no big deal.I just thought it was something he enjoys on a rare occasion.Well,he LOVES it and I am not into it at all.I have done it for him several times now,and I keep hoping it will get easier for me.He said I am good at it(after instructions from him),and is hoping that I will someday enjoy it.I really dont think that will happen.This morning he told me enjoys it just as much as sex.He is not as open sexually as I would like and I have been trying to get him to be more so.I think his focus in the past has been more the spanking.We are going to get married this summer and I want him to be happy and satisfied which is why I spank him.My question is:do you have any suggestions for me as to how I can make it easier for myself when I have to spank him?I’m sure there have been other situations where one person in a couple is not into this and wants to stay together in a happy relationship.Thanks for any help you can give me.Please dont misunderstand,I dont HATE doing it,I just find it a bit difficult.Thanks so much.

I’m glad you don’t expect his desire to vanish. Those of us who have fetishes have them for life. The emotional orgasm we get can be fare more satisfying than the merely physical one.

Some people find that as their unsatisfied kinky need is met their sexuality becomes more traditionally balanced. But not always. Might be worth it to try giving him however many spankings he craves for a couple of weeks or so and see if he becomes more responsive to regular lovemaking. While some men can enjoy a variety of sexual activities some are really only satisfied by their fetish.

How can you come to enjoy spanking him more? A tough question. I hope you get some satisfaction from making your lover happy.

If it is just a chore for you overtime you are apt to begin to resent spanking him. Do you think you can enjoy the role playing of “punishing” him for being a “bad boy?” Make it a bit of theater or a game?

You might feel better about it if you were getting something out of the act. You say he isn’t very open sexually. Perhaps the spankings could become a reward for exploring more sexually, doing more of what you enjoy. Pleasing your lover should never be one sided. To be honest if he isn’t capable of exerting himself to make you happy then your marriage isn’t going to last.

He’s lucky that you’ve been willing to overcome your prejudice instead of just fleeing in horror.

I have no idea if any of this is of help. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask.

Advice to Worried

We wholeheartedly agree with Richard’s comments - a spanker/spankee has this kink for life. But instead of seeing it as a relationship threat see it as an opportunity. Also unlike many spouses to be at least you know of his spanking needs before you are married and so can accommodate him accordingly. So many spankees have vanilla wives and so are forced into vanilla lives.

Spankings can be a punishment and a reward - list things that he will be punished for and look out for unacceptable activities that deserve punishment. Similarly reward him with unexpected spankings when he pleases you and you want to please him. Tease his penis as you spank him and his reaction will stimulate you and help you want to repeat these activities.

Bring in roleplay, wear sexy outfits, make him pleasure you before you start to spank him.

Finally if, like Belinda, you cannot take a spanking because of a low pain threshold, make him agree to take your spankings for you whenever your behaviour deserves it. This can be great fun for both off you. Belinda often gets speeding tickets and takes great pleasure caning me when the fine comes - 1 stroke for every $10 of fine.

So make it a fun thing but at times make it clear to him that inappropriate behaviour WILL result in painful punishment.

Hot Bottoms!

Barry and Belinda Spockings

I need a good spanking to help keep my attitude and “dirty mouth” in check. But, when my husband first starting to spank me, it would hurt his heart to see me cry and thought it was ineffective. It took me nearly 4 years to as k him and then he just stopped. What I am feeling now is a lost of respect and complete resentment! Now what?

I almost always administer corporal punishment whenever my husband disobeys! However, I believe in true punishment; that said I think of spanking in general as an act of play. I use my belt to whip him and my hands to slap and beat him. This is what he fears, and this is what keeps him a good husband slave.

Handy Tip for Comment Leavers Pretending to be Male: don’t use an email address that shows you are a man when you want to fool readers into thinking that you are a woman!

As a very naughty man I enjoy being spanked and at times have to tell a woman how to get my cheeks red & sore!!. Your web page will be a great help.

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