Websites for Submissive Men

Richard i have been reading your entries with great joy as you know i have just started blogging and having been submissive as far back as i can rember i have never felt any shame in how i feel and im sure most of the women that i come in contact with can tell in a short time of my submissive nature.I open doors, I speak with respect, and always show my respect to them i would drop to my knees at the mere idea they wanted me to, i would receive what ever they gave me be it pain or pleasure which could be one in the same.

I hope very few men do feel ashamed of their needs and desires.

Richard, thanks for the comments on my site, yes I am willng to be open and honest, more than willing, I get tired of trying to think of the things I write about involving play, I want the real stuff in there, I want people to know I am a real person, in a loving relationship with my Mistress. I would love to email you back and forth, I have included my email for you. Hopefully, we can keep in touch. It would help me a lot.

Thanks for the links; I’ve been lurking on two of the forums.

I’m not sure about the boy; I will inquire…

I like HoK. Lots of smart/sensible discussions there.

Richard, I just had to comment on the shame or guilt aspect. In our culture it’s a difficult thing for men to admit to feeling submissive because it goes entirely against cultural expectations. This can be even more difficult for men who are in jobs or careers in which they need to be seen as strong, decisive, or otherwise in control. Consider, too, that men in competitive fields are seen as “slackers” when they leave the decision making to someone else.

Furthermore, these men are also second-guessing their mates; “What if what she really wants is a more dominant man, and she leaves me?” After all, this is yet another cultural expectation to be overcome.

A few years back when my wife and I were having some pretty severe marital problems, I bought “When Someone You Love Is Kinky” by Janet Hardy and Dossie Eaton (greenerypress.com) and I debated giving this to her for several months. It’s a well-written book, aimed at those with no experience of the kink world; the book itslef wasn’t the problem for me, it was the confession that I needed something in my life that she might consider to be sick, perverted, or otherwise unmanly.

And I fully understand the paradox here: I’m one of those guys in a very male-oriented field (and I’m pretty good at my job), I’ve got a garage full of power tools, I grill a great steak, and do all of those other “manly” associated things. So one would think that with all this, I’d be able to allow myself a little leeway about wanting to try some kind of femdomme, right? Interestingly, it’s made it more difficult for me because I have found it difficult to get a feel as to how to integrate these seemingly opposed paradigms.

But more interestingly, that has also been the response of my wife and other partners over the years: I seem so manly, so why would I want to do something so unmanly as to take a submissive role?

People are so funny sometimes.

I guess the conventional image of masculinity presumes a dominant – and not just a strong – nature. Of course those hypermasculine gay men who prefer to be on the bottom during anal intercourse (or the leathermen slaves) don’t match that.

Dear Mistress,

Pleae would you help explain my obsessive desire to grow a large female bottom and hips!

This desire has existed for 50 years, yet remains both unfulfilled and unexpressed.

yours humbly,

Derriereupgrade