A Valentine for My Beloved

It is only with Alexandra that I came to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Even with her across the ocean I could arrange to have a floral service deliver flowers or candy.

Then came this month’s mortgage with the unwelcome news that an entire year’s worth of escrow payments were required in one lump sum. And that was only the second monetary mishap of the month.

So I can’t spend money on anything.

But she drew me a Valentine’s Day Card (image) and wrote (whole entry):

… And of course you are way more than a pet to me. You have given me a space in which to grow out of the wreckage of my past and flower into my real self. You put up with my foul moods and when I’m sad you tend to me with a patience and affection beyond sainthood. In short, you make me feel special all the time. …

It doesn’t matter that I can’t quite feel that I have really lived up to that as well as I should. All that matters is that Alexandra thinks I have.

She was a distant friend who was offering me comfort when I was heartbroken and disintegrating under the destructive fury of love gone bad and mad. Long in each other’s affection the two of us discovered we had more in common than we’d ever dared expect.

As lover and Goddess she came into my life when my need had never been greater. She took risks: coming to another country to see someone she’d never met and whose life was in disorder.

With her I was able to recover and begin to reclaim myself - a process not yet fully ended.

Her warm, responsive sensuality has been such a balm.

And there were those unanticipatable nights when within power exchange she took my heart and body. Fantasies were realized and exceeded.

So, my Beloved, whether you are in my arms or I am at your feet there will never be any doubt that no one has ever made me feel as happy and loved as you.

Love & Devotion