Five Long Months
» Relationship
Alexandra and I have been apart for five months.
The part of my heart that embraces BDSM is doing surprisingly well. When she left I feared that I might need a totally unkinky straightjacket.
As I - atypically for a site like this - sometimes confess I’ve been an assiduous wanker. But within minutes of my self-induced orgasm erotic desire reignites in me if I think of sitting at her feet.
Sitting, kneeling before her often comes to my mind. Naturally being allowed to kiss and lick her boots. Or in more carried away moments I imagine myself crawling after her kissing the spots her boots have just left. (Which court officials were required to do in the wake of the Pharaoh back in ancient Egypt.)
My more or less crazed fantasies remain focused on confinement and edgy humbling and humiliation. A reflection I think of my hunger to find myself back in what I call the slave trance.
That my unlivable violently physical fantasies have dimmed is probably a reaction to being in a loving BDSM relationship. Reality has displaced fantasy.
When my S&M thoughts turn to her I start to see myself hooded, tightly bound and forcibly lashed across chest and arms forcibly with a cane. But I hate that. The pressure of unmet desire?
Alexandra has spoken of exploring more mixing of sensuality with pain. Something to look forward to.
Comments
I’m glad you seem less worried about fantasizing about things that I haven’t done yet - even if you may not be able to predict with accuracy what exatcly I’ll evolve into, you can be sure we will both change and it is the Dominant who has the most dramatic learning curve. (That wasn’t a criticism as I know why you are careful)
Doing more S and M is probably essential for developing my skills at intense and diverse flogging/whipping etc.
Oh, I think I already told you there is one image here I really like. (That would be telling)
Posted by: Alexandra | February 6, 2006 5:51 PM
I haven’t told you that I replaced the broken Lexan cane (damn, I must be crazy). Sadly nobody had the purple one so I settled for gray.
Posted by: Richard | February 6, 2006 6:00 PM