Constructing the Perfect Fantasy
» S&M Fantasies
Fetishist or submissive person? One of those dichotomies that is false or true depending on the person, the people involved. If you are new to this site then understand: the love that Alexandra and I share dissolves these questions like a tissue dropped in a vat of acid.
As authors of our fantasies we are scenarist, prop department, gaffer and best boy. It is with a certain hilarity that I contemplate the sobriety with which I once labored to manufacture BDSM fantasies that satisfied me.
This is the first of a short sequence in which I rehearse the efforts in which I engaged to craft the ideal kinky self-induced orgasm. While there’s no glory there’s no guilt. Sexual guilt is a blight that has darkened the lives of too many innocents.
At the end of the sequence there’s a conclusion of sorts. At least I’m anticipating one.
Over-refinement can lead to sterility.
Watching early martial arts movies I used to be struck by all the onerous tasks the wife old masters would make their applicants and students go through to prove themselves worthy. Surely some of this could be adapted to BDSM.
The other night I was re-watching an early Jackie Chan movie. When his dad wanted to punish him he resorted to an old standby in these films: toting water: a rod across his shoulders with two buckets at each end.
I’ve mentioned having a bunch of fantasies that take place on a farm. And thinking about exhaustion scenarios. Particularly I wondered about being kept up all or most of the night while my owner slept.
I came up with all sorts of wacky possibilities. Eventually I felt a need to hit upon something more believable (even humanly endurable). Water toting became a way I imagined spending the night. Come the morning it would be obvious whether or not I’d fulfilled the task or slept.
In thinking about these old fantasies it struck me how increasingly I came to try to contrive situations that were on some level plausible. I would spend far more time working out the details than having a fantasy. My focus was on imaging the workable rather than some specific fetish.
I can’t say why. I was hoping to meet some over the top sadist who might be willing to consider safely exploring similar. Though men who can distinguish long-term sadomasochistic experiences from lifestyle BDSM seem rare. (Gay men involved in S&M are more likely to be able to explore the limits than heterosexuals for some reason.)
But I have wondered how many other masochists have wracked their imagination to craft the perfect and perhaps the workable hardcore S&M fantasy. Finagling with those annoying subtleties.
