Fantasies Flatline
» S&M Fantasies
Last night at bedtime my mind turned not unnaturally to masturbation.
Pop a DVD in the inner player and …
I find myself thinking about how I could’ve improved last night’s note.
!
I wasn’t feeling asexual. My penis had signaled readiness to cooperate.
Fixing on a fantasy script seemed impossible. Admittedly they are all reruns but that doesn’t normally block a fetishist’s fancy.
My traditional romantic sexuality has been strongly alive lately. But there’s no conflict between wanting Alexandra to beat the grawlixes out of me and cuddling up with her.
In a series of entries on constructing the perfect fantasy I noted how my violent physical fantasies had diminished as my relationship with Alexandra developed. (I’m of a mixed mind about that: it seems healthy but I want my shiny toys back.)
My imagined physical torments were replaced by grueling psychological scenarios. Reality may be having its willful way and chasing crazy dreams away.
Maybe it is just a passing thing. Not sure if I should be worried or - um, I don’t know - … ?
Prior: Last : Constructing the Perfect Fantasy.
Comments
When Eileen and I first met we spent several weeks playing nearly every day. It was only due to my youth and lack of a job that we were able to do this, but it was a delightful period of intense love and bruises. As we spent more time together and real life creeped back in on us, we started playing less. Those heavy scenes became less and less common, and even today we both are still trying to relive some of that delicious intensity. I can relate, but I fear that’s all I can say.
Posted by: maymay | August 13, 2007 11:28 PM
I think a lot of people’s turn-on’s morph and change as time passes. People don’t stay the same, so why should all our desires? If you’re enjoying and being fulfilled by your relationship with Alexandra and the things that have come out of that, I don’t think a change of focus in your fantasies is something to worry about at all.
Posted by: almost.. | August 19, 2007 1:38 PM
Hard to really know. My kink has become steadily more romantic, less harsh. Probably the reasons the fantasies have steadily diminished until they are almost gone.
Hers seem to be stepping up a notch or ten.
Posted by: Richard | August 22, 2007 11:54 AM