Fear
» S&M Fantasies
Becoming involved in a fairly strict classical ( = “old guard?” - ) part-time M/s relationship is one of he possibilities that really interests me. Though my current profile militates against that. It stresses a sort of fluidity that wouldn’t appeal to that kind of top. Not that I would expect a M/s arrangement itself to be fluid. It is like the problem of being bisexual or a switch: being able to do different things doesn’t mean that you can’t focus on one thing.
For the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking about the role of fear within M/s. I find the prospect of fear in this context extremely arousing. But see real difficulty in putting it into practice. It is all too easy for fear to become dangerously destabilizing; inducing a somewhat neurotic state. It would take a top of exceptional quality to manage it. I can think of two possible candidates. Perhaps. Even that may be wishful thinking.
At least when think of fear as an environmental quality. Fear perhaps be attached to a specific event.
Imagine a relationship, probably with a bit of protocol, where certain behavior would trigger a specific response or on a given day specified form of torture would be inflicted. The latter simply as a mater of following a schedule. In the case of a masochist like myself it might involve a level of pain that I would ordinarily safeword out of but that would be suspended. To, say, know that I would be taken to tears. You couldn’t help but feel anticipatory dread as the hour approached.
Not as sexy as random violence but much safer given the controlled context.
Dev has - more lightly - thinking of fear.
Comments
Is it treading the line where you trust them, but at the same time are still afraid because you know that somewhere in the dark corner of their heart, they really do want to do all those things they’ve promised not to?
Is that the kind of fear you’re talking about? Or am I projecting?
Posted by: AlmostMagic | April 1, 2008 11:20 PM
That some sadists have nightmarish fantasies that they know they can’t act out doesn’t spook me. (OK, it arouses me.)
I was thinking of random acts of brutality that leave you in a state of uncertainty and dread.
Posted by: Richard | April 2, 2008 8:44 AM
“Imagine a relationship, probably with a bit of protocol, where certain behavior would trigger a specific response or on a given day specified form of torture would be inflicted. The latter simply as a mater of following a schedule. In the case of a masochist like myself it might involve a level of pain that I would ordinarily safeword out of but that would be suspended. To, say, know that I would be taken to tears. You couldn’t help but feel anticipatory dread as the hour approached.”
How would you feel about it afterward though?
Is it possible for this to work in real life without breaking someone? What a delicate line to tread. Such a fascinating idea though.
Posted by: AlmostMagic | April 2, 2008 5:43 PM
It could only work between two people who have a fair amount of shared experience. The top would have to really know the bottom’s ordinary limits. And I don’t think they’d have to be exceeded all that much.
Break is a loaded word in this context. I don’t think a top could break – emotionally damage – someone in a single scene went completely out of control. I can’t deny that I fantasize about that but really know that I don’t want to go to the hospital and do have to go to work.
Protracted edge play for me would be more about isolation or manipulation of environmental variables than really extreme physical experiences.
Posted by: Richard | April 3, 2008 12:48 PM
I think it would almost be impossible to feel fear with a top you trust. If you trust them then you know that they will respect your limits. If my top did something that precipitated me into a state of fear then surely I would loose trust? Or would the trust just mutate into a state of caution.
Posted by: doll | April 6, 2008 8:08 AM