Beautiful Suffering
» Worship & ecstasy
Often I’ve felt that the language of masochism might be found in writings about saints and martyrs.
I’ve never forgotten the comment once left here by a woman that described male beauty as the look on the face of a man who suffered willingly for her pleasure.
Fairly early in our conversations about BDSM I asked Alexandra if the thought of me suffering made her - I’m not quite sure of my wording - happy. She said yes. Later that night as I was falling asleep her reply came to my mind and I had this almost physical erotic epiphany.
In a recent post on “wickedness” she wrote:
To think of this contrast between my pleasure and his discomfort is one of the sweetest things in the galaxy.
Again the surge within me is almost biological.
To be honest there are times when this also leaves me feeling that I’m looking into an abyss fearful of toppling over the edge. But that is part of the sweetness.
Alexandra also talks of the recovery of innocence. I think innocence a singularly just term. When we go deep in D/s or S&M we are reaching into the obscurity of our earliest days as conscious beings. Recovering primal things.
This may all sound stark. But with Alexandra I’ve also discovered how any given act is like a song in the hands of a jazz musician. A hundred performances can be improvised a hundred different ways.
Comments
My research has brought me to much the same idea, supported by writers like Vern Bullough and Anita Phillips. BDSM is not religious, but it does speak to certain human desires which were once fulfilled through religious rituals: flagellation, asceticism, etc.
Posted by: Peter Tupper | January 22, 2007 2:02 AM
I’m an atheist but in reading accounts of the early Christian martyrs they often responded to their torture cheerfully or ecstatically.
I’ve also had a faint feeling that something might be derived from liturgy but never managed to come up with anything concrete.
Posted by: Richard | January 22, 2007 8:25 AM
To write toward ‘Beautiful Suffering’ I would add my own experience. The savage sadist in me is ignited by the first bead of sweat that emerges from my pet (usually on his perfectly chiseled face) it develops into a small droplett falling across his temple, telling me his anticipation grows. My fire is fueled even further upon observing real apprehension reflected in his expression. My pet has the most delicious blue eyes that I can swim across the English Channel in, but when he is anticipating the unknown -helplessly, bare, vulnerable and raw, I can nagivate the Atlantic Ocean.
To be worshipped by this man causes me to fly, walk on water, (any cliche applies here) - I wonder sometimes that he has no idea the depth of his suffering elevates the seduction. His submission is so selfless, so pure - yet he is bound in his own web of ecstasy while I revel at his journey into surrender.
Thank you for maintaining this site. It is sheer joy and I thank you from the top of my heart. :)
Posted by: Mistress Gurliegoil | January 29, 2007 10:39 AM
That is what those of us who need to surrender hope is in the hearts of the women we worship. To know the joy they feel in taking from us what they can. It is our reward and a very real reward.
Posted by: Richard | January 29, 2007 5:56 PM